mercadoTV - 4 what 2 watch!

Saturday, 16 January 2010

PARADISE FOUND

PARADISE BEACH is one of the greatest tragedies of Australian TV. Over-hyped (as a new BAYWATCH meets 90210) but under-produced (with models who couldn't act), the series deservedly bombed in the US where it was programmed up against OPRAH. But back home on the Gold Coast, the production was radically overhauled (losing Olivia Newton-John's then-husband Matt Latanzi) and vastly improved with acting lessons and more experienced cast members. The show was a major hit throughout Europe but back in home in Australia, the plug was pulled (despite increased ratings) because its teenage audience wasn't sticking around for the 6pm NEWS. Location-wise (and I was the Locations Manager in my first TV gig ever) there was unlimited story potential in and around the Gold Coast but instead it finished and the dead-end cul-de-sac of NEIGHBOURS trudges on today. Sigh. Here then are highlights of the last episodes (together with my behind the scenes footage) with cast members Ingo Rademacher (now on GENERAL HOSPITAL), Raelee Hill (FARSCAPE), Kimberley Joseph (LOST), Tiffany Lamb (when in doubt, turn your character into a psycho killer), Robert Coleby (bowing out so his supposedly dead wife could return in the guise of Chantal Contouri for the third series which never eventuated), Gabrielle Fitzpatrick (MIGHTY SOMETHING POWER RANGERS), Roy Holding, Lochie Daddo, Melissa Bell (formerly of NEIGHBOURS), Andrew McKaige (SKYWAYS), Zoe Bertram (THE RESTLESS YEARS), Peter Bensley (CLASS OF 75), Paula Duncan (COP SHOP), Michael Caton (THE SULLIVANS), cheeky Isla Fisher (before marrying Sacha Baron Cohen), a very young Anthony Hayes, Jon Bennett and the late beautiful Megan Connolly (pictured here with Melissa Tkautz who had earlier guest starred as a love rival for Kirk's affections). Loved this show, loved the cast and loved the crew ...




Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

Saturday, 5 December 2009

ARE YOU BEING SERVED, AUSTRALIAN STYLE

Throughout the 80s, many UK sitcoms came down under to basically remake their old scripts in Australian settings with local actors. There was FATHER DEAR FATHER IN AUSTRALIA (starring Sigrid Thornton), LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR IN AUSTRALIA (where racist Eddie moved to Blacktown, Sydney, GET IT?) and DOCTORS DOWN UNDER. There was also ARE YOU BEING SERVED with My Humphreys (John Inman) working in an Australian department store called Bone Brothers where everyone on the floor was spookily similar to his British counterparts. There was June Bronhill as Mrs Crawford (Slocombe) prattling on about her pussy, Shane Bourne as the randy Mr Randel (Lucas) and guest stars like Abigail (pictured) repeating the same perfume girl character seen in the original. Just 16 episodes were made but sadly there are no plans to ever release them on DVD because of copyright issues and missing master tapes. Sigh. That makes these short clips (including the lsot variety special THE JOHN INMAN SHOW) all the more valuable ...

Labels: , ,

Saturday, 28 November 2009

HEY MAN, THIS WAS A REALLY GROOVY SHOW ... NOT

NUMBER 96 was the biggest Australian show ever in the 70s but its producers could not get another show to work in its wake. Three spin-offs from 96 failed to get pick-ups and ARCADE was Ten's biggest disaster of the 80s. Cash Harmon Productions also had a brief foray working over at Nine who desperately wanted some soapie action of their own for 1975. In the very odd timeslot of 6pm on weeknights came THE UNISEXERS which was to be all about a group of hippies making jeans. Apparently nobody had bothered to wonder what could be allowed at that timeslot although surely common sense should have let the producers know that any 96-style sexy shenanigans would surely be banned from the family hour. When the show was axed within a few weeks, producers blamed the oppressive Broadcasting Control Board of the day. Re-watching the first episode today, it becomes apparent that the show was shit, regardless of what restrictions were placed upon it. It's also disconcerting to see how vile the gay photographer was in THE UNISEXERS considering what a landmark character Don Finlayson (Joe Hasham) was in NUMBER 96. Anyway, watch it though for early TV appearances from Tina Bursill (SKYWAYS), Patrick Ward (the rapist bikie from the NUMBER 96 movie), Tony Sheldon (Bernadette from the Aust and UK stage productions of PRISCILLA) and Josephine Knur (Loreli, the first victim of 96's Pantyhose Strangler) all playing whiney hippies ...

Labels: , , , , ,

Sunday, 22 November 2009

THE AUSSIE YOUTH TV ZEITGEIST STARTED WITH THIS POTBOILER

If you want to trace where or current obsession with youth culture soapies began, it all started with THE RESTLESS YEARS on December 6, 1977. Having just cancelled NUMBER 96 and THE BOX, Ten wisely decided to replace the adult shows with something that might be more appealing to teenage viewers. This Grundy series was about school leavers looking for work and with dole-bludgers all the rage, the timing was perfect. If you can blow up this newspaper ad (pictured), laugh at some of the taglines. Penny (played by Deborah Coulls) is described as "the kind of girl managing directors chase around their desks". How very MAD MEN! If that was the only option, no wonder pretty girls stayed unemployed (or in the tortured Alison's case, became prostitutes. Hey, if you're gonna get chased, you might as well get paid). I've just found some footage from the last ever episode - quality wise it's crap but the audio is good and you get a roll call of all the major stars over the years (like Tom Burlinson, Di Smith, Penny Cook, Peter Mochrie, Victoria Nicholls etc) as Miss McKenzie (June Salter) FINALLY discovers who her son is ...

Labels: ,

Sunday, 25 October 2009

WHEN TV CHANNELS USED TO CARE




Back in the olden days (the 80s), young TV fans would write to TV stations and get back beautiful personalised letters along with stickers and fan cards. This reader used to write about his favourite show IT'S A KNOCKOUT and they are a joy to read (click on them to enlarge). I love how he is gently let down after asking for Billy J Smith and Fiona MacDonald's phone numbers and note how he never gives up asking to bring the show back even though it has been axed. Wonder if TV channels reply to kids like this today?



Labels: ,

Saturday, 17 October 2009

ABIGAIL DOES GLAMOUR

Abigail started the 80s by posing for Australian Plaboy (pictured) in August. But it took till 1984 for her to grab more glamour on SONS AND DAUGHTERS where she was hired as a possible replacement for Rowena Wallace (who played Pat the Rat). TV Week were quick to nickname her Caroline the Cat when they broke the exclusive but the tag didn't stick, particularly since Caroline wasn't a superbitch like Patricia. Although the character softened, the fashion got as big as the hair. During this period, Abigail was often photographed on the Sydney social scene wearing the latest frock and shoulder pads from designer Christopher Essex. On screen, scriptwriters gave Caroline two daughters, played by Sally Tayler and Alyce Platt and eventually she found romance with Normie Rowe. When the show ended in 1987, they were last seen about to open a fish and chip shop. It would take till 1991 and CHANCES for her to return to more glamorous roots ... re-live Caroline's claustrophobic Christmas cliffhanger here ...

Labels: , ,

Sunday, 4 October 2009

ABIGAIL AND THE CONVICTS

Although he starred in several CARRY ON movies, UK nudge nudge wink wink comedian Frankie Howerd was probably best known for the sitcom and movie version of UP POMPEII. Seven tried to duplicate its success with the short-lived UP THE CONVICTS in the 70s. It's not that memorable except of course for the great Aussie supporting cast like Carol Raye (THE MAVIS BRAMSTON SHOW, NUMBER 96 and BLANKEY BLANKS), acid-tongued Frank Thring (BEN HUR, ALVIN RIDES AGAIN and THE HOWLING III) and the incomparable Abigail. She always wanted to do more comedy and she's in her element here as well as baring her bottom for Playboy. Bless ...

Labels: , , , ,

Thursday, 24 September 2009

HER BRILLIANT CAREER

Today's Sydney newspapers feature the great Kyle Sandilands having lunch at Wooloomooloo Wharf (aka Wankers Walk). Since Kyle isn't that big on walking, he plops himself down outside so the paparazzi can photograph him with his wannabe pop star wife (who The Daily Telegraph breathlessly reports as being so bored she spends the entire time texting). There's also his talented co-host Jackie O'Neill (aka Jackie O) and Brian McFadden (aka Mr Delta Goodrem) who's been doing a great job this week with Andrew Gunsberg (aka Andrew G) filling in on radio as Kyle undergoes his "counselling" (aka what a joke). News Ltd identifies the final person at the table as a "mystery brunette" which is friggin' hilarious because The Sydney Morning Herald identifies her as "the television host turned Bollywood star" Tania Zaetta. You see, Zaetta just received an undisclosed compensation from News Ltd after they falsely alleged she had sex with Aussie soldiers in Afghanistan. After the court case earlier this week, she said "the matter is now over and I greatly look forward to getting on with my career.” Seems that career now involves being ignored by News Ltd newspapers and a Bollywood career that's minor roles in around three films. At least she's still got those Lemon Detox red carpet TV ads which I love and for anyone who can't remember what a great actress she is, we'll always have her sultry pool seduction and yellow one-piece swimsuit from BAYWATCH DOWN UNDER alongside squealing extra Jodhi Meares some pumped up SONS AND DAUGHTERS dude and investors int he production who also scored themselves walk-on roles like the late disgraced Rene Rivkin and representatives from Paul Mitchell hair ...oh yes, what a classy production

Labels: , ,

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

THE MADGE AND LATOYA SHOW

It's still about Michael Jackson. La Toya Jackson just did an interview with Barbara Walters on 20/20 while Madonna gave a tribute at the MTV Awards. Madonna's words were heartfelt but she also managed to make the speech all about her, all the time. The funniest bit was when she talked about her two sons now being obsessed with MJ. "There's a lot of crotch-grabbing going on in our house," she laughed and I did too. What else does she expect? Maybe if Madge put her vag away every now and then, her sons wouldn't be so obsessed with that particular body region. As for La Toya, she's still as nutty as ever, giggling like a schoolgirl, spouting murder theories and still blaming her ex-husband for forcing her to do nude Playboy spreads and say that her brother was a pedophile. And then there's how she describes how he looked in his coffin just before they buried him ... with full make-up ... and looking God-like ... it's right at the end of the clip after she admits she was yet another person who never once wondered about who the real father of her nieces and nephews were ...



Labels: , ,

Monday, 14 September 2009

REMEMBER THE DISASTERS TOO

Nostalgia is king again at Nine with next week's new Paul Hogan retrospective and the following week it's HEY HEY IT'S SATURDAY even though it'll actually be Tuesday. To get viewers in the mood, Nine are airing TV'S BEST OF THE BEST this Sunday and one could be forgiven for thinking it would just be a look at Nine's other big variety hits. Having just recorded some links for the show though, I can reveal that it will indeed cover hits from all channels, not just Nine. When, however, will somebody see the comedy value in a show that could be called TV'S WORST OF THE WORST. Ten are the only channel in recent years to do retrospective specials that laugh at their lowlights as well as the highlights. Imagine the classic clips that could come from a look back at bombs like THE UNISEXERS, BOBBY DAZZLER, ARCADE, TAURUS RISING, PUNISHMENT, WATERLOO STATION, DAILY AT DAWN, HAMPTON COURT, KINGS, CHANCES, PACIFIC DRIVE, ALAN JONES LIVE, THE MICK MOLLOY SHOW, YASMIN'S GETTING MARRIED and the hilarious drama POSSESSION which starred 70's spunk Eric Oldfield (pictured) ...

Labels: , ,

Saturday, 12 September 2009

DANNII ON THE RADIO

What a weekend - where do we start? Charlie Sheen calling 9/11 a fraud? La Toya Jackson saying Michael in full make-up and dressed in white pearl beads looked "fabulous" and "God-like" when he was buried? How about Kyle Sandilands' father claiming his son's constant claims about the year he did it tough living homeless on the streets were exaggerated? That's more like it. The dad tells The Daily Telegraph it could have been a "night or two" before he sponged off friends until he "wore out his welcome" and then one of his high school chums chimes in with "he might have spent one night as a street kid." Last week Kyle was suspended (again) from 2Day FM for making jokes about Magda Szubanski and concentration canps and next week we'll find out if Austereo have the balls to sack him or risk further wrath from the Jewish community. He was replaced on air by Andrew Gunsberg and Dannii Minogue, or Andrew G and Dannii M because Jackie O is still there (and when is she ever going to lose that stupid moniker and stop comparing herself to one of the greatest American Presidential style icons of all time?) Andrew and Dannii were great together on air and made 2Day FM worth listening to again. There was no smut, no nastiness, no bullying and even better they weren't guffawing loudly at their own jokes, the worst mistake breakfast radio announcers can make. Andrew is welcome to stay in this job forever but Dannii (pictured here from her Australian Playboy spread) is probably too busy with other career commitments to do Breakfast With The Stars permanently. That is such a shame and while we're at it, when is HOME & AWAY going to get her back for a return visit? Dannii would love to go back to Summer Bay and I'm sure her rebel with a cause routine could be readily resurrected ...

Labels: , , , ,

Friday, 11 September 2009

ANOTHER BRADYS BOOK!

Hello? There's a new BRADY BUNCH book out and nobody told me? It's about THE BRADY BUNCH VARIETY HOUR, one of the worst TV show ever made and it's co-written by Susan "Cindy Brady" Olsen. No previous book has ever covered this disaster in-depth so I can't wait to read it. There's even a shout-out to our own TV1who were the first network in the world to re-run the series after the '70s. Of course that was back when they used to be an interesting channel but now that they're the CSI/NCIS/L&O network, they have no interest in anything Brady (although at least they have the good sense to now screen 30 ROCK). Anyway, here's Susan Olsen's very own YouTube tribute to a series she is now embracing despite being totally mortified by it ...


Labels: ,

Saturday, 5 September 2009

ABIGAIL AT YOUR SERVICE

Throughout the 70s and the 80s, Aussie sex symbol Abigail played virgins, vamps and vixens. But before her last regular role as a sex therapist in CHANCES, Abi was dressed down in stonewash denim and fringed jackets to play a gossiping secretary in FAMILY AND FRIENDS. This was one of those dreadful short-lived series that Nine attempted in the 90s and it starred soap stalwarts like Anne Phelan, Diane Craig, Adrian Lee, Justine Clarke, Roxanne Wilson, Simon Westaway, Gavin Harrison, Kym Wilson, Rchel Friend and Maxine Klingbatis (as Abigail's daughter for God's sake). It certainly didn't help wasting Abigail as a dowdier Dorrie Evans and had it been my show, I would have cast her as a sexy secretary like her Playboy spread (pictured). Here ishe is from the final ep of FAMILY AND FRIENDS ...

Labels: , ,

Sunday, 30 August 2009

HILARIOUS ADS

When video cassette recorders went on sale in Australia around 1980, a war was waged between Beta and VHS. Beta was the better system (so I bought one) but VHS was adopted by more manufacturers (and the porn industry) so it won out in the end. This Sanyo model was the first VCR that I ever owned and it is STILL going today. I love this ad for it which highlights the freeze frame via a cord that had to run across your loungeroom floor. They neglect to mention that the sound bar always created a line of static across any freeze frame and usually ran right across the bit you were desperately wanting to look at closer. Nonetheless, you can imagine my excitement at finally being able to record TV shows.

Labels:

Saturday, 29 August 2009

BACK TO SCHOOL WITH ABIGAIL

Although Abigail was first seen on Aussie TV as a dramatic actress in NUMBER 96, she fancied herself more as a comedienne. Which may be why she decided to join the cast of CLASS OF 75 as a mysterious French headmistress. After the black and white year of CLASS OF 74, the colour sequel wanted to up the laughs by changing Waratah High into a co-ed boarding school. Unfortunately it was ludicrously unfunny even with new cast members like Briony Behets, Marty Rhone, Peter Bensley, Peter Flett, Peta Toppano and the debut performance of Angela Punch-McGregor. But they all pale into insignificance when Abi arrives, not as a sexy schoolgirl as seen in Australian Playboy (pictured) but a prissy teacher who later rips off her black wig to shake free that mane of blonde goddess hair ...

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, 23 August 2009

ALL ABOUT ABIGAIL

It's safe to say I have been obsessed with Abigail ever since she first appeared in NUMBER 96 back in 1972. I've just tracked down her 1980 Australian Playboy pictorial and will tease you with glimpses for the next few weeks. Can't somebody tell me where she is now? It's vital that she get dragged out of retirement for a comeback at some point. After playing the virginal Bev Houghton in NUMBER 96, Abi became Australia's first true blue sex symbol. And throughout the 70s all she had to do was turn up, wear not much and purr a bit. This got her an LP record, appearances in sexuy flicks like ALVIN PURPLE and ALVIN RIDES AGAIN and then there was this soft drink that she turned into something vaguely ponrographic. Did I drink it? Babe, I bathed in the stuff after this ....

Labels: ,

Sunday, 16 August 2009

GLENVIEW HIGH ROCKS

Sorry but we're still having trouble uploading pictures to this site because of some stuffed-up upgrade Blogger did last week. So to tide you over, here's another forgotten 70's classic from my favourite YouTube channel. It's GLENVIEW HIGH which was a one-hour drama that came from Grundys after CLASS OF 74 and CLASS OF 75. The cast is to die for - Elaine Lee, Brandon Burke, Ken James, Bill Kerr, David Atkins and the fabulous Rebecca Gilling. It's also got the gorgeous Grigor Taylor from MATLOCK POLICE and what the hell happened to him? Last time I saw him on TV was some kids show called BUTTERFLY ISLAND and then he just slipped away. Could he be hiding away at the same banana plantation Abigail is said to reside at? Check him out in acton now and re-live the fantastic theme music, another great track from Mike Perjanik ...

Labels: ,

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

PETE BURNS IS THE WEAKEST LINK

If it's your birthday today, you share it with a galaxy of stars. There's THE BRADY BUNCH'S Maureen "Marcia Marcia Marcia" McCormick (pictured) who is now 53 and Aussie actor John Jarratt (THE ODD ANGRY SHOT) is 58. There's US soap legend Erika Slezak (turning 63 but still looking about 33, funny about that) who has one of the most hysterical roles ever on daytime TV. Forget THE UNITED STATES OF TARA (Ep 2 screens tonight on ABC1) because ONE LIFE TO LIVE's Viki has six alternate personalities including stripper Nikki and her own father Victor. And over in the UK, there's two two gay celebs, CORONATION STREET'S Antony Cotton (34) and the brilliantly deranged Pete Burns from Dead Or Alive. Check him out in full flight on THE WEAKEST LINK giving as good as he gets ...

Labels: , , , ,

Saturday, 1 August 2009

THE ORIGINAL RESCUE TV SERIES

To celebrate the premiere of Nine's new RESCUE: SPECIAL OPS, let's look back at the first Aussie action TV series, CHOPPER SQUAD. This 70's TV series (with the great theme music from Mike Perjanik) didn't always pull off its stunt sequences but with a spunky cast like Eric Oldfield (pictured), we didn't really care. Oldfield appeared in THE GODFATHERS and THE YOUNG DOCTORS as well as having not one but two Cleo Centrefolds. Actually they called them the Mate of the Month to have a point of difference from Cosmopolitan. Anyway, thanks to a mad Brazilian fan, we can re-watch CHOPPER SQUAD'S international opening credits and marvel at the roll call of great Aussie actors that appeared in the show because our YouTuber thoughtfully lists them all below. Note to Freemantle, bring this out on DVD!

Labels: , ,

Thursday, 16 July 2009

SEXY SCHOOLGIRLS MAKE FOR CLASSIC TV

Before PRISONER and before NEIGHBOURS, Grundy's first foray in TV drama was CLASS OF '74. Seven wanted a high school series for an early evening timeslot so a “no nude scenes” ultimatum was passed (this was the era of the raunchy NUMBER 96 and THE BOX) but storyline-wise, the swinging co-educational Warratah High crammed their early episodes with as many sexual situations as possible. The very first episode had a student/teacher love affair as sweet schoolgirl Julie (Carla Hoogeveen,) whispered to her hunky teacher (Vince Martin before playing E STREET'S Mr Bad), “I love you … Sir”. Bikie student Greg Chris Cummings) deflowered virgin Nora (Barbara Llwellyn) in a tent but the scene was cut just before the premiere and never aired (it can be seen, however, in the second YouTube clip below). The publicity about the inappropriate content was enough to ensure a record-breaking opening night with a ratings share of 37 becoming the highest ever recorded for a 7pm show to that point. With the sex toned down, CLASS OF '74 settled down and added in more comedy so here's some memories from that show with the great theme song from Brian Cadd ...



Labels: ,

Monday, 13 July 2009

EVERY BOYBAND HAS A GAY BOY ...

On the eve of a reunion concert UK tour for Blue, boy band member Duncan James has revealed he is bisexual and has had many, many affairs with men (read more at News Of The World). Tabloids used to label him a "notorious womanzier" but what do we make now of celeb grilfriends such as Geri Halliwell, Martine McCutcheon and Tara Palmer Tomkinson. How hilarious that he has clearly been attracted to fag hags but good luck for his future, thanks for the honesty and I look forward to the appearance on The Graham Norton Show very very soon. So now Blue has Duncan, Boyzone has Stephen Gately and N*S*Y*N*C has Lance Bass - who on earth will be next? Kids on the Block? Take That? Another from N*S*Y*N*C .... hello JC Chasez?

Labels: , ,

LA TOYA, IT'S GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK

From the moment she wore THAT HAT to her brother's memorial, it was clear that La Toya Jackson was planning a comeback. Sensationally, she hasn't even waited a week to make her next move which has come via a headline-making four-hour interview to that journalistic bible News Of The World. According to La Toya, Michael was murdered, he loved his curries and she was the the family member closest to him (but of course). She also claims his house was ransacked after his death because when she went looking for the jewellery and $2 million cash he always had lying around, it was already gone. Hence why La Toya has been forced to do this interview! One can only hope she is also considering a 3rd pictorial for Playboy.

Labels: ,

Sunday, 12 July 2009

ARCADE GETS ANOTHER WALK THROUGH


There is no bigger disaster in TV than ARCADE. This short-lived 1980 soap came from the makers of NUMBER 96 and was about a row of shops in a Cremorne mall. There was the newsagency starring Lorrae Desmond (before A COUNTRY PRACTICE) and Peggy Toppano (mother of Peta), Kitty’s Record Bar, the pinball parlour run by Mike Dorsey (NUMBER 96's Reg McDonald), Aristocrat Dry Cleaners with Syd Heylen (Cookie from A COUNTRY PRACTICE), the dinky-di delicatessan run by Asians (with a brother and sister about to fall in love), a gym run by Garth Meade (the then-husband of NUMBER 96's Elaine Lee) and Coral Kelly (before she became soap scriptwriter Coral Drouyn), a gift shop with zany Anne Semler (wife of Academy Award winning cinematographer Dean Semler) and finally the Surf n’ Ski shop with bare-chested Patrick Ward and Olga Tamara (before COP SHOP).

Amazingly, viewers failed to respond to a show that was supposed to be as familiar as a trip to your local mall. Wasn’t there a slut, an old maid, a paraplegic, a snob, a drunk, an Asian family, a bitch, a poof, a fattie, a drongo, a blonde with big tits and a male chauvinist serving behind the counters of every suburban shopping centre in Australia?

Well, maybe not, but at least the shops themselves were realistic, with actual goods, and if the audience wasn’t buying it, at least the extras were helping themselves to everything they could get their hands on. Theft was so rife on the set, security guards were on guard full-time protecting the shop items. And while a horde of extras made the Arcade look crowded, their constant walking to and fro was so noisy it was almost impossible to hear the dialogue over the din. But did anyone really want to hear it as the clichés continued to pile up every night?

Timeslot competitors (it screened at 7pm on weeknights) THE SULLIVANS and WILLESEE AT SVEN actually increased their audience once ARCADE started and, worst of all, the show even trailed the usually last-rating ABC News. In Sydney, it rated a measly 7.5 share when 20 was considered to be the lowest acceptable figure. Within minutes of the first official ratings survey being released, Ten made a snap decision to shut down production. Just 49 episodes had been produced and only 30 ever aired. Not much remains today but these scenes from the first episode have just surfaced on YouTube.

Labels:

Saturday, 11 July 2009

REMEMBER WHEN DAYS OF OUR LIVES USED TO BE GREAT?

July 11 is a distinguished birthdate for famous people. There's Yul Brynner (THE KING AND I), Reg Varney (ON THE BUSES), fashion designer Giorgio Armani (75), legendary Aussie Prime Minister Gough Whitlam (93) and Aussie actress Rachael Taylor (who wisely refused to do the terrible TRANSFORMERS sequel despite starring in the first one). There's also Susan Seaforth Hayes (66) who played Julie Horton, Daytime's first soap superstar. Before Luke and Laura exploded on GENERAL HOSPITAL in the '80s, it was DAYS OF OUR LIVES' Doug and Julie who were on the cover of TIME in the 70s. Once upon a time DOOL was required viewing. My own soap obsession started the day I was playing at a friend's place during his school holdays and his mother arrived home from grocery shopping. She ran up the back steps, threw the bags onto the floor spilling the contents everywhere, and ran through the house screaming "Addie's taken an overdose!". She bolted to the TV and I wandered in behind her, settling down to watch DOOL for the first time. So here's Doug and Julie's wedding from 1976, complete with pink-veiled bridesmaids and Marlena (Dierdre Hall) looking more matronly over 30 years ago than she does today ...

Labels: , ,

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARMEN DUNCAN

The fabulous Carmen Duncan turns 67 today so here's a reminder of her best known role when she went to the US to play ice queen Iris Wheeler in ANOTHER WORLD. Sevearl years ago at the launch of my SUPER AUSSIE SOAPS book, Carmen wasn't too pleased about all the attention her younger sister was getting. Paula Duncan had appeared on almost every Aussie soap imaginable whereas Carmen's Aussie soap past in NUMBER 96 was lost forever when the black and white episodes were thrown out. As Paul was continually hounded by fans, Carmen could be heard saying to anyone who would listen "... but I was on ANOTHER WORLD!". And indeed she was, not to mention the infamous Aussie cult flick TURKEY SHOOT where she played a marauding lesbian who killed Lynda Stoner by firing an arrow through her breast. Here's a tribute to some of Carmen's best fight sequences in ANOTHER WORLD (and look out for Anne Heche too)

Labels: ,

Saturday, 4 July 2009

THE BOX IS BACK

On a recent edition of THE PLAYLIST, Melissa Hoyer wondered if THE BOX was re-made today, would it have to be set in a boardroom with a bunch of corporate money-counters? For those not young enough to remember, THE BOX was all about the naughty goings-on behind the scenes of a fictional Aussie TV station called Channel 12. The first episode of THE BOX (with clips here just discovered on YouTube) caused a stir when it aired in 1974 with hundreds of viewers ringing Channel 10 to complain about what one reviewer had counted as “five nude scenes, eight buttocks, one drunk, two lesbians and only one homosexual”. Publicity director Tom Greer took great pleasure in noting that all the calls were made during commercial breaks or after the show had finished. Brisbane morals campaigner Alan Russell, who was also a dentist, was outraged by the open-mouthed kissing scenes. “I wouldn’t open-mouth kiss a woman for all the money in the world,” he screamed to The Sunday Sun. “If those actors only knew the interchange of bacteria that occurs.”
Sydney’s Anglican bishop, the Very Reverend Lance Shilton, despaired that Australia was turning into a nation of peeping toms, and ratings confirmed his worst suspicions. The new serial was a smash hit in all markets, particularly in Sydney where its premiere had achieved a remarkable 46 share (akin to a STATE OR ORIGIN match today) although it had slipped to a still respectable 33 within a few weeks. If only a TV station today would dare to remake it or repeat it. Or how about Crawford Productions release it on DVD? This was such a fantastic show ...



Labels: ,

Friday, 3 July 2009

FIGURING OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON

Who cares that it's Tom Cruise's birthday today when it's just another excuse for a creepy Scientology gathering. Surely the more fabulous star also turning 47 today is Hunter Tylo who plays that renowed B&B psychiatrist Dr Taylor Hayes - and stay with me on this, it could be the truth behind Michael Jackson's "death".
In real life, Hunter once sued Aaron Spelling for being sacking from MELROSE PLACE for falling pregnant (instead her role went to Lisa Rinna but these two former rivals must be good friends now since they both appear to use the same lip surgeon). Meanwhile on B&B, Taylor was dying and returning from the dead not once but twice. The first time she died she was discovered to be Princess Laila living in a Moroccan Palace with Prince Omar. When she was then shot and killed by Sheila Carter - and buried after an open coffin funeral - she still returned very much alive again. It was revealed that the body in the coffin had been a mannequin (uh-huh) and Prince Omar had spirited her away for emergency surgery and recuperation (which also apparently included breast augmentation and collagen lip plumping. Who needs to go to Thailand for surgery when Arab heart and plastic surgeons are that good?). There was just one small problem with that explanation though since Taylor's ghost had appeared to Ridge when she wasn't dead. Whatever - here she is as that ghostly vision AND speaking in a foreign language ....




OH MY GOD! I've just realised something - could this be what Michael Jackson is really up to? He's been living in the Middle East for several years now and could easily have sourced the best surgeons possible to pull off such a Taylor Hayes switcheroo. Clearly the Jacksons now have a mannequin to bury (and Madame Tussaud has made many, many versions over the years) while Michael is living it up in Prince Omar's palace thinking about what kind of new lips he's going to get. It's so perfect I'm amazed it's taken me a week to figure it all out. Betcha Diana Ross is breathing a sigh of relief about my theory since she probably wasn't wanting to be a 65 year old mummy to three little "children of the corn". And just why was she named guardian of them in Michael's will anyway? Was it punishment for getting him to play the scarecrow in THE WIZ, the all-black, all-flop version of THE WIZARD OF OZ? Was Michael secretly giggling along with all the critics who laughed that the title role of Dorothy had been changed from an 11-year-old to a 24-year-old so 33-year-old Diana Ross could play the part? What goes around comes around Miss Ross ....

But if Michael Jackson is still alive, what then for MJ impersonator Jason Jackson who legally changed his name from Jason Zamprogno and lives at his own "Neverland" in Sydney's south west with his mother (who is of course his manager). His front page story from today's Daily Telegraph is proof that Michael Jackson fans have and always will be kookier than even the most demented Elvis devotee. Here's a sample of what he thinks now that the offers are "rolling in":

"This is my time. It's going to be huge. Las Vegas. Los Angeles. Asia."

"I believe I am alive today because God saved me for this."

" Fans look to me as if I am the King."

"I think we can demand the price now. Any price, $200,00 or even a million. Other Michael jackson impersonators in Australia ... don't have the persona and charisma. You either have it or you don't. I am sort of blessed. I have it."

And there you have it. Who needs the real Michael Jackson when a talented westie like this is the real deal. God bless you Jason ... although I recommend you use some of your hard-earned cash to maybe invest in a nose job ....

Labels:

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

WHAT A DAY OF BRITHDAYS

There are so many stars having birthdays today I hardly know where to begin.
There's Leslie Caron (FALCON CREST), Tab Hunter (POLYESTER), Jamie Farr (AfterM*A*S*H), Jean Marsh (UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS), Karen Black (AIRPORT 1975) and Deborah Harry (the original HAIRSPRAY). But how can you go past Olivia DeHavilland, one of the last living stars of GONE WITH THE WIND? Here she is with a fabulous flip hairstyle surprising a friend on THIS IS YOUR LIFE ....

Labels:

Monday, 29 June 2009

WHICH AUSSIE ACTRESSES WILL STRIP?

Here's the cast from the new UK stage production of Helen Mirren's hit movie CALENDAR GIRLS. Look closely and you'll see Jerry Hall and two EASTENDERS icons: Anita Dobson (real-life wife of QUEEN guitarist Brian May who played legendary lush Angie Watts) and June Brown (who still plays the chain-smoking Dot Cotton).
Now comes news that theatre producer John Frost is planning an Australian production for 2010. And like those endless revivals of STEAMING, it means another bunch of Aussie actresses are about to get their gear off. Ideas anyone? I'm thinking Abigail, Rowena Wallace, Kimberley Davies, Fairlie Arrow .... but would love to hear your thoughts.

Labels: ,

Thursday, 25 June 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Yep, it's my birthday and I share it with Ricky Gervais and George Michael. So to celebrate where i was born, it doesn't get camper than this

Labels:

Saturday, 13 June 2009

THERE WAS NO GAY KISS IN NUMBER 96!

Twice in the past week I have read about Don's gay kiss in NUMBER 96. The first was when Joe Hasham was awarded a Queen's Birthday Honour and then it was mentioned again today as being one of Australia's Most Memorable Media Moments.

To set the record straight - Don Finlayson never kissed another man in the TV series. Nor was he ever seen in bed with one. The closest he ever got to physical contact was with a naked John Orcsik during the movie version. And the kiss filmed for that movie was cut from the print (read more about that in NOSTALGIA).
As for Joe Hasham (pictured here as Abigail tried, unsuccessfully, to seduce him) getting a Queens' Birthday nod, well, how random is that? Especialy considering he left Australia decades ago to start an acting school in Malaysia. Don't get me wrong - Hasham was extremely courageous to have played a homosexual way back in 1972 and unlike his on-screen boyfriend Chard Hayward (who played Dudley Butterfield) he never begged the writers to turn his character straight. But if we're going to finally start honouring NUMBER 96, it might be good to remember some of the other iconic actors and the guy who created and wrote it all, David Sale.

Labels: , ,

Monday, 18 May 2009

NUMBER 96

Check out this newspaper ad for the 1000th episode special of NUMBER 96 (it can se seen on the first DVD release). When the show was first mooted, nobody could imagine it lasting that long. In 1971 the Ten Network was considered a poor cousin to the longer-established Nine and Seven networks. Ten’s advertising revenue was minimal and they were unable to compete with their rivals when it came to buying new American shows. So in sheer desperation, Ten decided to risk everything with a new adults-only night-time serial sset in an inner-city Sydney apartment block.

Ten got so excited they suggested the unthinkable – instead of bi-weekly, they wanted to strip it five nights a week. The Cash-Harmon creative team were flabbergasted but frantically began to churn out plotlines. Nearly every working actor and actress in Sydney auditioned and all blithely signed the nudity clause assuming they’d never be asked to strip. Many were about to receive a nasty shock.

Number 96 premiered at 8.30pm on March 13 1972, with full-page newspaper ads proclaiming it as “The Night Television Would Lose Its Virginity!” Some newspapers refused to run the advertisement and changed the wording to “The Night Television Would Lose Its Innocence!” As it turned out, the outrageous by-line wasn’t that far off the mark. From night one, Number 96 established itself as a controversial, taboo-breaking groundbreaker that proved to be years ahead of its time.

The first movie-length episode (three half-hour shows tacked together – and many disgusted viewers did brand it tacky) shocked the nation. Only Sydney viewers got to see horny husband Mark Eastwood (Martin Harris) groping under the skirt of his eight-months pregnant wife Helen (Briony Behets). Everywhere else, the bottom half of the TV screen was blacked out, leading viewers to imagine much worse was going on. After being rejected, Mark popped downstairs to the deli where he saved nice Jewish girl Rose Godolfus (Vivienne Garrett) from being raped by a bikie. Rose repaid Mark’s gallantry by sleeping with him and when Helen discovered them in her bed, she ran out in shock, fell down the stairs and miscarried.
Number 96 had a total of eight flats, with two downstairs shops for all the residents to mix in (the delicatessen and a chemist that would soon evolve into a wine bar). A multicultural group was assembled without the slightest hint of cringe. Deli owner Aldo Godolfus (Johnny Lockwood) was Jewish Hungarian. Alf and Lucy Sutcliffe (James Elliott and Elisabeth Kirkby) were English migrants, Alf the typical ‘whingeing Pom’ while Lucy quickly became 96’s long-suffering earth mother. Their next-door neighbour was the unlucky-in-love South African born Vera Collins (Elaine Lee) who was separated from her alcoholic husband and forced to make ends meet with dressmaking and telling fortunes. Over the years, her tarot cards would warn of impending doom, especially in her own bedroom where she would bed an endless array of disastrous lovers. Sadly, the cards didn’t let her know she was going to be raped several times – first by returning husband Harry (Norman Yemm), then by her stepfather who flew all the way over from South Africa, had his way with her, then went straight back home.

Number 96 would always bring onto the canvas any ethnic performer available – there was never a White Australia policy in this show. Just a few weeks after premiering, black American Chad Farrell (Ronnie Arnold) was romancing the very white Sonia (Lyn Rainbow). Their cliffhanger smooch was the first interracial kiss filmed for Australian television, a full three years before the Federal Government introduced a Racial Discrimination Act.

Also living in the building were Herb (Ron Shand) and Dorrie Evans (Pat McDonald). They lived in Flat 3 rent-free because they had originally owned a house on the plot of land the building now occupied. Henpecked Herb was the building’s caretaker, while Dorrie considered herself the unofficial concierge (or as she pronounced it, ‘consurge’). Despite her insatiable busybody ways and constant shrieking, Dorrie would soon become one of the show’s most beloved characters.
Actress Pat McDonald would win the ultimate popularity award in television, the Gold Logie, as well as several Silver Logies for Best Actress. McDonald swore she was never once abused in the street or received an obscene fan letter. Instead, the fans would gush, “You keep that Herbie under the thumb, don’t you?” When the fans ran up to Ron Shand, though, it was: “How do you put up with the silly bitch?”

Later, Pat McDonald suggested bringing another actress, Bunney Brooke, into the mix. Originally written as a nemesis for Dorrie, Flo Patterson moved into the Evans’ flat (with budgerigar Mr Perky) when hers burnt down and she became the perfect comic foil for Dorrie. To the public, as they appeared together in magazine at-home spreads, McDonald and Brooke were simply good friends sharing a house together. It never occurred to anyone that the pair were actually lesbian lovers.

Now this is why I loved being a kid in t e 70s - school holiday family entertainment that was chock-a-block uwith full-frontal nudity and gay love. Number 96 – The Movie (now out on DVD) was filmed during the show’s Christmas break in 1973 in just eleven days. The budget was rumoured to be just $100,000 and the cast were paid only an extra week’s salary (supposedly all of $400 each). The movie became a smash hit, due in part to 20-year-old drama student Rebecca Gilling who was seen naked in bedrooms, showers and psychedelic dream sequences. Full-frontal nudity was still unknown on TV in 1974 (it would become ho-hum on the show circa 1977) so technically Gilling would become 96's first nude babe to go all the way.

If indeed there was a cinema patron who wandered in having never seen the TV show, they sure caught on quick when Vera Collins was pack raped by bikies within the film’s first two minutes. Gay hero Don (Joe Hasham) was also taking advantage of the more liberal cinema censorship by getting naked with new boyfriend Simon (John Orcsik) and even kissing him! The lip-lock, however, was mysteriously excised from the print after the Sydney season. “One critic said it was only the second homo kiss in screen history after Sunday, Bloody Sunday,” says writer David Sale. “I remember taking my parents to see it in the second week and dreading the kiss scene but they didn’t bat an eyelid!”

Film critic Mike Harris slammed the film in national newspaper The Australian, but had to admit that he had never been in a cinema before where every character’s first entrance got a roar of approval from the crowd (I remember the film's trailer also getting cheers the first time it was shown). Number 96 remains one of the most profitable Australian films ever made because it was shot cheaply on 16mm and blown up to 35mm for national release. Never before and never since has a more popular Australian film been released looking more shoddy. Many of the cast don't like the movie because it doesn't really represent what was so good about the TV series. I disagree, both are enjoyalbe in their own right and now DVD releases of both mean new fans today can also compare.
This is an abridged extract from SUPER AUSSIE SOAPS by Andrew Mercado

Labels:

Saturday, 28 February 2009

Prisoner

While many Aussie serials have serious cult followings, only one has been elevated to iconic status. Prisoner, or as it is known outside Australia, Prisoner: Cell Block H has just celebrated its 30th anniversary. Not only does its appeal appear to be timeless, but it is also unique for its predominantly female cast, several spin-off stage productions and its brief but nevertheless astounding success in America where it out-rated the legendary Johnny Carson.

Prisoner premiered on February 27, 1979 and critical reaction was mostly favourable. TV Times saw it “destined for success” but couldn’t help taking a few potshots. “Prisoner could be described by the uncharitable as The Young Convicts or The Restless Lags, but in truth it is a slickly made tear-jerker. Old master Reg Watson can’t have had as much fun since he helped create Crossroads. If you think there is some similarity between Prisoner and Googie Withers’s British-made series Within These Walls, forget it. In many ways, it has more affinity to Porridge.”

While the show might have descended into Ronnie Barker sitcom territory in later episodes, its two-hour opener was a scorcher. It commenced with the arrival of two new inmates at Wentworth, Karen Travers (Peta Toppano) and Lynn Warner (Kerry Armstrong). Karen had killed her abusive husband, while country girl Lynn was a true innocent, framed for the kidnapping of a baby (which had actually been buried alive by its demented mother). Lynn was soon incurring the harsh wrath of Bea Smith, who burnt her arm in the steam press, while Karen was set upon by Franky, in a new variation of love at first sight.

Wentworth’s staff was represented by immaculately coiffured Governor Erica Davidson (Patsy King), caring warder Meg Morris (Elspeth Ballantyne), who had been born in a prison, and her psychologist husband Bill Jackson (Don Barker). Bill was killed by Chrissie Latham (Amanda Muggleton) during the series’ first riot, thereby setting widow Meg up for a never-ending parade of ill-matched suitors who would either dump, wed or rape her during the series’ seven-year run.

And then there was Vera (Fiona Spence). Miss Bennett was nicknamed ‘Vinegar Tits’ by the women and the expression caught on quickly. After just a few months on air, reports filtered back that schoolkids had started using the name to refer to their least favourite teachers. Like Number 96 before it, children had unwittingly become regular viewers of another series they weren’t supposed to be watching and it was hardly surprising that schoolyards, which operated on the same power dynamics as a prison, ended up with students calling their teachers the same names they saw the TV prisoners calling their warders.

Subsequently, the show would be watered down, and despite research showing that most female prisoners were incarcerated for drug offences, the impressionable underage audience meant that Prisoner would always carry an anti-drugs message. Bea Smith had already been set up as a leader who would not tolerate illicit substances, her own daughter having died from a heroin overdose while Bea was locked up.

The early episodes also featured two underdeveloped characters who would soon dominate the show. Doreen Anderson (Collette Mann) was first seen as a thumb-sucking, teddy bear-hugging lesbian lover of Franky Doyle, while Lizzie (Sheila Florence) was a cranky, chain-smoking kleptomaniac, incarcerated for life after poisoning a group of shearers who had complained about her cooking. As the series developed, Doreen, Lizzie and Bea became the show’s most beloved characters, and behind the scenes, were nicknamed ‘The Three Musketeers’.

As Prisoner became a popular success at home, Grundy’s took the unprecedented step of deciding to try to sell the show internationally. After being shopped around at a Las Vegas show convention in April 1979, Los Angeles independent station KTLA-5 bought the 26 episodes. With a title change to prevent confusion with British cult classic The Prisoner (which starred Patrick McGoohan), Prisoner: Cell Block H premiered in America in August 1979. US critics howled about its sleazy plots and cheap production values, but Californians were fascinated and began to switch on in increasing numbers. Soon it was the second highest-rating show in its timeslot (Wednesdays, 8pm), beaten only by Charlie’s Angels. A cult had been born.

Not only that, but Americans were actually prepared to listen to the show with the original Aussie accent. Around this time, Mad Max had only been released into cinemas after every actor had been dubbed with American voices, including Mel Gibson. The women of Prisoner, however, got to speak in their native twang.

When the series first began, American lesbians picketed the television station, concerned that Franky was going to be yet another negative portrayal of a gay woman. They soon changed their mind as each new episode unfolded and Franky’s softer side emerged. By the time the character died on-screen, a group of real-life bikies drove to KTLA to lay a wreath at the station door for their favourite character. By 1980, the show was screening in 35 American cities including Chicago, San Diego and Albuquerque, but not without its detractors. TV Guide slammed the independent stations that screened it in early-evening timeslots (Minneapolis at 6.30pm, Philadelphia 5pm), claiming it wasn’t suitable for family viewing, and, given America’s prudish network standards at this time, the show must have been a shock for unsuspecting viewers. In New York, Prisoner: Cell Block H was served as a late-night treat but nobody dreamed it would best Johnny Carson’s long running Tonight Show. At the height of its popularity, even Saturday Night Live did a send-up, and several years later it was revealed Sammy Davis Jr was a major fan. When he visited Australia and requested a tour of the set, he begged producers to write him in for a cameo. Amazingly, conflicting schedules prevented this from happening.

America’s love affair with Prisoner: Cell Block H didn’t last and the show gradually disappeared from screens there. New York cancelled their order after 274 episodes, although Philadelphia kept the habit until 1984. In 1991, however, Grundy’s convinced the Yanks they could make their own version, Dangerous Women. The syndicated series was basically a reworking of early Prisoner scripts. Bea Smith was reincarnated as Rita and Karen Travers was now known as Maria Trent. The end result, a very poor imitation of the original, was not a success.

In 1987, just as the last episode was going to air in Australia, England bought the show and began screening it around the country in varying late night slots. Just as in America, the series exceeded projected audience figures everywhere it was screened, and the show soon had an audience so huge it went beyond cult. By 1990 it was so popular that four original cast members (Val Lehman, Sheila Florence, Amanda Muggleton and Carol Burns) were shipped over to appear on English talk shows and tour the country in a unique chat show style theatre event called ‘The Great Escape’. Everywhere they appeared, they caused a near riot with hordes of screaming fans. The city of Derby even hosted a civic reception for Bea, Lizzie, Chrissie and Franky.

Next came a stage version of the play, written by Reg Watson, with Patsy King back as Erica the governor and Elspeth Ballantyne as Meg. Glenda Linscott, yet to be seen in most parts of the country as Rita, played a new character called Angela (a ‘Chrissie Latham-type’) while UK actresses Joanna Monro and Brenda Longman played Franky Doyle and Bea respectively. It premiered at the Wimbledon Theatre on 21 September 1989,

Depending on the location, the audience would boo and hiss panto-style, or sit in solemn silence taking it all very seriously. So seriously in fact, the play was revived in 1990 with Fiona Spence (Vera), Jane Clifton (Margo) and Jacqui Gordon (Suzie).

The Prisoner phenomenon then spawned its most unusual spin-off. On 29 October 1995, Prisoner Cell Block H: The Musical opened at the Queen’s Theatre in London, later travelling throughout the UK on a national tour. Emphasising the camp values of the show, this latest version featured Maggie Kirkpatrick as Joan Ferguson and, playing herself, English drag comedian Lily Savage (Paul O’Grady), who is thrown into Wentworth for a crime she didn’t commit. Played strictly for laughs, this version had intentional overacting and sets that really did wobble (even though it was an urban myth that Prisoner’s rock sold concrete and brick prison cells shook on-camera).

Prisoner Cell Block H: The Musical was written by Peter Pinne and Don Battye. Australian fans assumed the smash hit would make its way down under, but both writers agreed that the pantomime aspects of the show were unique to an English audience. There was also concern as to who could play the lead in a down under version. “We altered the concept to accommodate Lily Savage,” says Peter Pinne, “but there was nobody in Australia that could have put bums on the seats the way that Lily Savage did.”

To this day, there are still Prisoner fan clubs all over the world and over 50 websites dedicated to the show. It’s all done with good humour too as fans continue to debate over who had the most laughable hairstyle, which was the most poorly-choreographed fight scene and what was the most ridiculous storyline (the overweight lesbian Judy Bryant moonlighting as a prostitute perhaps?).

Television shows about prisons continue to be fascinating viewing, particularly for Prisoner fans looking for copycats. Is the psycho bitch warden of America’s Oz based on The Freak? And was the commissioning of Bad Girls an English attempt to replicate Prisoner’s success? In all, the Aussie soap has screened in over 40 countries including Barbados, Ecuador, Hong Kong, Poland, South Africa and Brazil, and one of its most recent signings was to a new gay Canadian TV network, Pride, where it is known as Caged Women.

(This is an edited Extract from the book SUPER AUSSIE SOAPS by Andrew Mercado)

Here now are two Australian advertisements for PRISONER...

Labels: , ,