RYAN VOX'S REVIEW: WILL YOU MERRY ME?

WILL YOU MERRY ME? ****

Well, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas around the office at the moment. Whilst I’m not a fan of the obligatory gaudy decorations, tacky themed t-shirts and earrings or the local DVD store that jacks its prices up in the fortnight leading up to the holiday, somehow my cynicism fades and I get sentimental and generous around this time of year.

Each Xmas, I drag out some seasonal favourites on DVD (I adore Beverly De Angelo in NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION), relax and give in to my short-lived holiday spirit.

By chance I came across the Xmas-themed WILL YOU MERRY ME? and decided to check it out on the sole basis that it teams up the hilarious Cynthia Stevenson (DEAD LIKE ME) with JUST SHOOT ME’s Wendie Malick.

The premise is simple. Rebecca Fine is Jewish, sophisticated and comes from an upper-class background in LA. Henry Kringle on the other hand had a tradition-bound Christian upbringing in a small, mid-western town. The crazy kids are madly in love and living in New York when Henry, on the spur of the moment, pops the question. Naturally Rebecca says ‘yes’ and they decide it’s time for their relatives to meet. Cultures clash as the two families gather for the first time during the week of Christmas / Hanukah and it’s a comedic ride of misguided good intentions as they try desperately to be polite and respect each other’s cultures and traditions against the backdrop of mid-west America. Think MEET THE FOCKERS but with outrageous Xmas displays and a Xmas-obsessed town of weirdos.

The gorgeous Wendie Malick is fantastic as Jewish-matriarch Suzie Fine and delivers her hilarious asides with the icy stillness I have come to love her for. Watch out for the scene where Malick threatens Rudolph the reindeer (one of the town’s most treasured inhabitants) and then accidentally runs him over. Another winner a scene in which Malick accidentally “outs” the Kringle’s eldest son and it is perfectly countered by Cynthia Stevenson’s manic portrayal of Marilyn. As in DEAD LIKE ME, Stevenson manages to bring a fine mix of borderline insanity and genuine warmth to her character and refrains from going over the top. The eventual meltdown where both women scream at each other in full-view of the neighbours is hilarious and the film is topped off by a likeable supporting cast.

If you’re like me and loathe hideous Xmas decorations you’ll love the rivalry of the neighbours trying to top each other’s displays with giant inflatable Santa’s, fake snow and back-up power generators.

Being that this is a Christmas (and Hanukah) movie, there is a sprinkling of sentimentality and schmaltz but thankfully this isn’t ever really laid on too thick.

A solid effort for a Canadian made-for-TV movie that in most ways is better than some of the theatrical releases I have seen in 2009. Light-hearted entertainment and recommended viewing for any time of the year - not just at Christmas.

WILL YOU MERRY ME? is available in stores now or online from Eagle Entertainment.

NUMBER 96 BACK IN PRODUCTION

Yesterday two of the stars of NUMBER 96 reminisced about their time on the hit TV show. Carol Raye (pictured) spoke about her role as Baroness Amanda Von Pappenburg and also revealed never-before-told tales about her behind-the-scenes role as casting director (did she really turn down racing identity Gai Waterhouse and legendary actor Bryan Brown?). Elisabeth Kirkby (who played Lucy Sutcliffe) talked about her controversial role as the show's Actors Equity union rep and discussed a new theory as to why the controversial show could never been screened in America or Britain (and no, it wasn't the nudity). All will be revealed on their exclusive audio commentaries when the next NUMBER 96 DVD (AFTERMATH OF MURDER) is released in 2010. Here's another teaser from the Sutcliffe's flat as Alf proudly shows off his new colour television set. And here's my theory as to why the series, after being the nation's top-rated show from 1972 to 1975, suddenly suffered a drop in ratings. That coincided with the introduction of colour TV and perhaps viewers started turning the channel to see other shows in colour. Indeed, even Alf is watching some overseas crime drama on his "tele" but can anyone pick what it is?

ANOTHER NUMBER 96 TEASE

The next volume of NUMBER 96 will be called AFTERMATH OF MURDER because it follows on directly from the last release THE PANTYHOSE STRANGLER. Much of the hilarity this time round is provided by the outrageous Jan Adele who plays showgirl Trixie O'Toole. Scriptwriters would listen to Jan's stories from touring the clubs and rewrite them as Trixie's stories. And indeed Jan would often forget her lines and make up funnier material on the spot. Here she is in her best dominatrix gear in another preview from AFTERMATH OF MURDER which will be released through Umbrella Entertainment in 2010 ...

GHOST OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST

This surprisingly good movie stars Jennifer Garner, Micheal Douglas & Matthew McConaughey and to be honest after his last two movies (FOOLS GOLD and SURFER DUDE) I would have rather poked my eyes out with a knitting needle than watch another movie where he takes his shirt off. But I did and I loved it.

Matthew has a new haircut but he remained fully clothed the entire movie,yes ladies, not even one chest shot! His character is not the most likable but by the end of the movie you do warm to him..

Jennifer Garner is her usual Divine self. I have been in love with this woman since ALIAS and the love affair continues with this movie, I just wish she would stop having kids and make more wonderful movies because the world needs more of Miss Garner!

The rest of the cast is interesting. Michael Douglas is superb & irreverent and for me he was a major player in this movie often overshadowing the cast with his antics.

With a special apperance but the superb Anne Archer & a small role by Noa Tishby (wife of AUSTRALIAN IDOL'S Andrew Gunsberg), this is a feelgood romantic comedy with a little vulgarity so the girls and boys can both love and laugh at it.

4 Stars !

THE NEXT NUMBER 96 DVD

For the past weekend, I've been watching 32 episodes of NUMBER 96, most of which I've never seen before. It's for the next DVD release to hit stores in February 2010 and the story continues right on from the end of the last DVD release THE PANTYHOSE STRANGLER. Here is a short teaser (just 20 seconds) taken from the episode straight after the murderess has killed herself. As you can see, life in the Sydney block of flats continues to be dangerous and hilarious. Watch the blonde extra's hysterical reaction, she is GOLD ...

BRETT EASTON ELLIS' THE INFORMERS OUT ON DVD - BUT ONLY IN THE U.S.

My favourite author is Bret Easton Ellis but there's only been one fantastic movie adaptation from one of his novels and that was THE RULES OF ATTRACTION. AMERICAN PSYCHO was good but not as horrific as the book and LESS THAN ZERO and needs to be remade (sorry to fans of that movie but read the book and you'll see it's a major cop-out). Two other novels, GLAMORAMA and LUNAR PARK, are in development for future motion pictures but until then, there's only THE INFORMERS, a collection of short stories set in LA in the 80s. It is a troubled film because the original director was replaced by Aussie Gregor Jordan (TWO HANDS) who then dropped the vampire subplot meaning SUPERMAN RETURNS' Brandon Routh was out of another job. But with a cast that includes Kim Basinger (pictured), Billy Bob Thornton, Mickey Rourke, Winona Ryder, Rhys Ifans, Chris Isaak, the late Brad Renfro and Simone Kessell (Jordan's real life wife who was the besst thing in UNDERBELLY 2), it must be seen. Immediately. And with no Australian distribution that I know of, I'll be buying it online, first thing tomorrow, when it is released on DVD in the USA. Here's the trailer ...

DOGS IN SPACE - FINALLY ON DVD

It is one of my most seminal movies ever and probably my favourite Australian film of all time (although PUBERTY BLUES comes a very close second). Now DOGS IN SPACE has finally been released on DVD through Umbrella Entertainment and what a glorious 2-disc edition it is. There are three complete audio commentaries and two are with director Richard Lowenstein as he chats first with musician Ollie Olsen (who appears in the film) and then director of photography Andrew De Groot. Lowenstein is also behind the 90 minute documentary about the making of the film and there's a wealth of extras about lead actor Michael Hutchence (it was his first film role and don't assume he's overacting because according to the commentary, he is spot on in his characterisation of the real life person who also appears in the film, spooky). For those who haven't seen the film, it's about a bunch of hippies and punks who share a ramshackle house in Richmond, Melbourne during 1979. Bowie is about to visit Australia, Skylab is about to fall from the sky and everything revolves around COUNTDOWN and drugs. At the time it was rated R which was a tragedy given it's (ultimately) an anti-drugs film. Then again the Australian censorship board has always come down too hard on any film that glorifies drug use even though all (SID AND NANCY, REQUIEM FOR A DREAM etc) usually end in death and tragedy. So the good news is that DOGS IN SPACE is now rated MA and about bloody time too. Check out the first 10 minutes here and then buy the DVD, it's very cool and you'll want to watch it more than once ...

RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN

Well, this movie has all the right elements to be a DVD blockbuster !
It is a Disney remake starring Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock.

It is the story of two young aliens that crash accidentally on earth & their fight to get back to their Spaceship with the help of Las Vegas taxi driver played by The Rock!

I've been to Las Vegas many many times & at no time have I ever seen such a'hot' taxi driver as him !!!

The original movie ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN was made in 1975 and starred Eddie Albert, Ray Miland, Donald Pleasance & Kim Richards who makes a special appearance in this flick (because she's the only one still alive from the original!).

This new version of course is is far superior because of its special effects
especially the scene where the Black SUV hits the Alien Boy & Implodes, just
superb!

Dwayne Johnson can do it all. He is tough, sweet, strong & cute & you just have to love a man that can go from tough wrestler to amazing Disney Star, that is one hell of a transformation !

The rest of the cast is equally good with Anna Sophia Robb & Alex Ludwig playing the children and Carla Guigino as the Dr of Science (she played the Mom in the Spy Kids trilogy).

This Princess wanted the ending to have just one kiss of romance but then there could be a sequel... and it still ends very nicely... See preview below.

Great Fun Family Viewing & if you rent this DVD from Blockbuster you get a 'glow in the dark wristband" I know I am racing for one !!!!

Out August 26

4 stars ****

RYAN VOX'S REVIEW: DYING BREED

DYING BREED *** ½

It is rumoured that deep within the wilderness of Western Tasmania the ancient Thylacine (more commonly known as the Tasmanian Tiger), thought to have gone extinct in the 1930’s, is alive and breeding.

DYING BREED fuses two fascinating legends of Tasmania, the marsupial tiger and The Pieman, an escaped convict eventually hanged in 1824 for cannibalism, and draws similarities between the survival instincts and bloodlines of the two. Many Tiger sightings have been reported. Hundreds of hikers have gone missing. Could both The Pieman and the Tigers have descendants hiding in the bush?

Crypto-zoologist Nina (ALL SAINTS Mirrah Foulkes) sets out to finish the work of her sister (who disappeared before turning up dead a year later) by proving the Tiger survives in the harsh scrub. She takes along her partner Matt (SAW’s Leigh Whannel), his mate Jack (SNAKES ON A PLANE'sNathan Phillips) and Jack’s girlfriend Bec (PACKED TO THE RAFTERS' Melanie Vallejo). Naturally they stumble on The Pieman’s descendants who uphold the traditions of their cannibalistic ancestor, but occasionally need fresh “breeding stock” too.

Nathan Phillips hums the strains of the DELIVERANCE banjo theme, a reflection that this film borrows heavily from DELIVERANCE, THE HILLS HAVE EYES, WRONG TURN, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and maybe even WOLF CREEK. DYING BREED doesn’t really deliver anything we haven’t seen before, but is a solid, eerie film due in part to the intriguing real-life myths surrounding The Pieman and the Tiger. Despite its lack of promotion in this country it garnered attention in various Horror Film Festivals globally becoming somewhat of a un-earthed gem.

The movies kicks right in with creepy Thylacine footage pulled from the archives and moves quickly into a gruesome opener. Tasmania (played here by the Dandenong Ranges) is beautifully sinister – with shades of mid-west hillbilly towns depicted in films like CHILDREN OF THE CORN and HALLOWEEN 4. The cinematography is professional and the editing quick and tidy – but perhaps a little too so. The wide shots make good use of the ominous isolation but I would have liked to see a little more grit injected. The score’s wind instruments evoke PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK.

Mirrah Foulkes displays a likeable vulnerability separating her from the detestable Jo in ALL SAINTS (who I like to blame for the show's cancellation). There are some genuine frights here but unfortunately some effectively creepy moments are ruined by Nathan Phillips annoying, macho jerk prattling (why does he always play the same character?). Nathan redeems himself however by baring his sexy bum in several scenes.

The current trend of torture and sexualised violence is present here but used sparingly enough to only be mildly unsettling. There is a nice sequence involving bear traps too and the ending is truly chilling.

Intermingling Australia’s dark heritage with the sinister looking Tassie Tigers works to advantage here, giving DYING BREED the edge it needs to rise above being a generic gore-fest. It genuinely is better than that. It's nice to see Australian horror making a comeback.

RYAN VOX'S REVIEW: THE GRUDGE 3

THE GRUDGE 3 ***

Part three of the Japanese-turned-American horror series goes direct-to-disc and picks up almost immediately after the Chicago-based events of THE GRUDGE 2. Jake Kimble (Matthew Knight), the sole survivor, is now institutionalised after the gruesome murders of his family and Dr Sullivan (SAW’s Shawnee Smith) must struggle to understand why this young boy is so frightened of a Japanese girl with long, black hair. Meanwhile, in Japan, a young woman named Naoko (Emi Ikehata) hears of the carnage and, realising her own connection to the grisly tale, travels to the Chicago apartment building to protect its remaining inhabitants and stop the curse once and for all.

Japanese filmmaker Takashi Shimizu declined the opportunity the direct for a third time leaving Toby Wilkins to take his place. Also declining to return are Takako Fuji (Kayako) and Yuya Ozeki (Toshio) who had portrayed their respective roles six times already!

The team obviously went to great lengths to keep the continuity between this and its parent films amazingly accurate by replicating sets, title sequences, actors, shooting angles and the score, but the lighting is terrible and causes the production to lose the bleak atmosphere that worked so well for the previous films.

Shawnee Smith is wasted in her role as psychologist Dr Sullivan, Gil McKinney is un-menacing as possessed landlord Max and Marina Sirtis (STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION) tries hard but falls flat in an arthritis-stricken cameo. The highlight is SCARY MOVIE 4’s Beau Mirchoff who saves the film by going shirtless in a brief few scenes as hunky boyfriend Andy.

Criticisms aside, THE GRUDGE 3 is a relatively competent offering for the direct-to-disc market and immediately outshines recent d2d releases in the horror genre. The story, though familiar, is solid and best suited for GRUDGE fans well-versed in the history of the curse. The ending, albeit a tad predictable, is still a cracker to watch play out onscreen and adds another dimension should a GRUDGE 4 be in the works.

Originally I only awarded this release two stars, however I have added a bonus for two reasons;

1. Continuity – I am an absolute stickler for consistency and Japan and Chicago are recreated to perfection in Bulgaria.
2. Beau Mirchoff – Dreamy. Beau has just joined the cast of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES and his character is described as "tightly-wound and sexy". Let's hope he has a lot of scenes. Shirtless.

THE GRUDGE 3 is released on Region 4 DVD 29th July 2009.

RYAN VOX'S REVIEW: REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA

REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA 1/2 a star

The producers of SAW bring us this rock-opera musical set in the not so distant future. Earth has been devastated by disease and organ failure and born out of this tragedy is GeneCo, a biotech company offering organ transplant and other surgeries with a payment system. But everything comes with a catch and those who miss payments are scheduled for repossession and hunted down by the Repo Man.

Obviously written as a brutal satire of a consumer driven culture obsessed with youth and looks, what should have been an interesting (if somewhat macabre) premise comes off as adolescent schlock. REPO! is a big mess. Visually stunning and artistically rich but musically incoherent. The lyrics are cheap and amateurish with dialogue that should be sung and vocal lines that should be spoken. The style jumps about, changing genre and tempo multiple times within a 10-second period, creating confusion for the viewer. The comic book sequences designed to speed up back-story elements actually slow the pace down.

Originally penned as a stage play, REPO! features a bizarre collection of cult favourites, child-stars and world famous opera singers. SPY KIDS’ Alexa Vega plays her role with a petulant angst that is both annoying and un-convincing. Her vocal range is sub-par and actually makes Paris Hilton (in a heightened reality version of her heiress self) come off as the better singer here. Anthony Stewart Head improves on his BUFFY singing but the role somehow comes off a little too close to that of Giles. Sarah Brightman is a (vocal) highlight in a small role that is worlds apart from her signature turn in PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. She also manages to appear younger now than she did twenty years ago.

I am not adverse to gore (in fact I’m a huge fan of the SAW movies) but found it unnecessary here. I certainly didn’t need to see sweet Sarah Brightman gouge out her own eyes before a nasty encounter with an iron fence.

Had I not been reviewing this DVD for mercadoTV I would have turned it off within the first thirty minutes. I actually spent most of the last hour (in between cringes and shakes of my head) wondering how on earth they managed to get Tony Head, Sarah Brightman and Paul Sorvino to even appear in this unsettling disaster.

Watch if you have a secret desire to see Paris Hilton’s face fall off on stage, but I personally would rather zap myself with a taser for 90-minutes than face this movie again.

THE 7PM PROJECT COMPARES ITSELF TO GRAHAM KENNEDY'S NEWS SHOW

Ten set a new ratings record last night with their MASTERCHEF Finale. 3.7 million viewers made it the highest-rated non-spotting event sice the introduction of people meters in 2001, smashing formerblockbusters like AUSTRALIAN IDOL and THE BLOCK and leaving Seven and Nine floundering in its wake. 60 MINUTES didn't even get a million viewers last night despite its exclusive interview with the missing hiker lost in the Blue Mountains - kind of makes you wonder why the paid interview didn't get given to A CURRENT AFFAIR instead. Seven will repeat last night's DANCING WITH THE STARS next Saturday at 3pm after it logged just 1.1 million viewers. But while Ten deserve a day off today to celebrate their historic win, all eyes will be on their next bold move which begins tonight. Today in The Australian, THE 7PM PROJECT is described by its producer as being a news show with comedy, perhaps a bit like Clive Robertson and Graham Kennedy's late night news shows from the late 80s. Coincidentally, GRAHAM KENNEDY'S COAST TO COAST is coming out on DVD next month and it should raise eyebrows with its footage of Seven newsreader Ian Ross. How does Roscoe look so fresh today given how old he looked back way back in the 80s? At least THE 7PM PROJECT can ride the MASTERCHEF train tonight with Julie being its first guest. Let's hope she doesn't say she wants a carrer in television because I just said in an interview for tonight's A CURRENT AFFAIR that she seems more interested in opening her family restaurant. Good luck to her and tonight's 7PM PROJECT ....

RYAN VOX'S REVIEW: MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK

MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK *** 1/2

This cute 1989 telemovie follows the former members of fictional 60’s supergroup The Bouffants as they are unwittingly reunited for a TV special (My Boyfriend’s Back – named after their hit song) twenty years after they disbanded. Though two decades have gone by, sparks fly when the trio reform. Old grudges re-emerge and there are more than a few scores that need settling.

Judith Light (ONE LIFE TO LIVE, WHO’S THE BOSS and UGLY BETTY) is a stand-out as Vickie Vine, slightly rough and very gaudy, who now sings in a small town bowling alley, aching for the days when she was an A-list star. Sandy Duncan’s (TV’s VALERIE) perky Chris is infectious and likeable. Both women have amazing comic timing and carry this movie, playing off each other with a natural ease. The soundtrack makes good use of amped up 80’s versions of 60’s hits. A major highlight though is the 80’s-era costumes and sets - giant hair, giant shoulder-pads, millions of sequins and pastel colours everywhere. Most of the singers that appear in the fictional reunion special are real 60’s superstars.

Camp and feel-good, this is one of those rare telemovies that really shines with quality production, a tight script and brilliant pacing and could probably have done well on the big screen. In fact, a remake starring someone like Bette Midler would go down a treat!

MY BOYFRIEND’S BACK is out on DVD now through Beyond Entertainment.

RYAN VOX'S REVIEW: CENTRE STAGE: TURN IT UP

CENTRE STAGE: TURN IT UP *1/2

Sigh. Attempting to cash-in on the dance movie craze (which I still don’t get) this direct-to-disc telemovie sequel to 2000’s CENTRE STAGE is world’s apart from the classy, well-rounded original despite many inescapable similarities.

Kate Parker (Rachele Brooke Smith) (who looks like the lovechild of Britney Spears and Ashley Simpson-Wentz) is the big dreamer who wants to get into the American Ballet Academy. Kenny Wormald is Tommy Anderson, the good looking yet dim hockey-player-turned-ballerina love interest. Sarah Jayne Jensen is Suzanne von Stroh, the bitchy blonde with connected parents who becomes Kate’s archnemesis.

Predictable fare as Kate is rejected from Academy, meets hot boy who gives her ballet advice, she gives him hip-hop skills, bitchy blonde tries to steal hot guy, girl inexplicably gets chosen out of hundreds of qualified, professionally trained dancers at open casting call to appear in Broadway show. The end. Oh, and there’s something about two of the guys from the original film thrown in somewhere too.

Like the original, the actors here are dancers with no acting training and it is made even more obvious by an un-original story, generic cookie-cutter script and laughable dialogue that tries too hard to be “street” (imagine your Nan saying “rad” and “dude” in every sentence). Sarah Jayne Jensen is competent enough as Suzanne but every time she smiles I get distracted by her mouthful of razor-sharp teeth leading me to believe she would have been more suited in a movie about dancing werewolves.

The refined tone of the original film is lost here and the setting of the ABA is rarely used. CENTRE STAGE alum Peter Gallagher and Ethan Stiefel appear only long enough to collect their pay cheques – almost as if the film were written as a generic dance flick and had the Centre Stage title tacked on at the last minute. The characterisation is inconsistent as Kate flickers between sweet, innocent girl from a poor family and overly-confident bartender / Pussycat Doll. Anyone who has had dance training will instantly cringe at the flawed ballet techniques of the hip-hop / jazz dancer cast.

Watch if you like non-specific hip-hop dance movies like SAVE THE LAST DANCE or HONEY but avoid if you’re particularly attached the original CENTRE STAGE. Why not just save your money and watch SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE on TV instead?

AUSSIE MOVIE CLASSIC FINALLY GETS A DVD RELEASE

Ever heard of a 1983 Australian flick called BUDDIES? Stars Colin Friels, Harold Hopkins, Kris McQuade and Bruce Spence? About a bunch of mates hanging out in Central Queensland digging for gems? Never heard of it? Well, don't feel bad because the film only lasted a few weeks in cinemas because it was released independently rather than with a major cinema chain and back then, that was a recipe for disaster. It then only aired on TV once or twice and never got a VHS release. So it is with great pleasure that I can report a pristine print has finally been given the full DVD treatment from Umbrella. This movie is charming and still very very funny with great performances. It's from John Dingwall, the same (and now late) director responsible for SUNDAY TOO FAR AWAY. He deservedly won the AFI Award for Best Screenplay and hopefully will now get some more credit for this film as it hopefully finds a new audience. I interviewed Harold Hopkins and Kris McQuade for the new documentary and they have some very funny stories to tell about the filming. Well worth checking out.
BUDDIES out through Umbrella Entertainment, 4 stars ****

RYAN VOX'S REVIEW: THE BRADYS YOU NEVER SAW!

Ryan Vox here and "Here’s the story…" Those camp Bradys are back on DVD in the fifth season but there's still some Brady moments we NEED to see on DVD soon. Nobody knew when THE BRADY BUNCH Season 5 (***) was being filmed that it would be their last, save for those endless reunion specials (and we're still waiting for THE BRADY BUNCH VARIETY HOUR and THE BRADY BRIDES). But for now, Season 5 ends this chapter with a sense of finality and nostalgia as the children, almost grown-up, face adult problems and Mike and Carol are confronted with the thought of losing their babies to College dorms.

The highlights are aplenty with iconic episodes like “Adios, Johnny Bravo” in which Greg is pursued by playmate Claudia Jennings as the next American idol. The misleadingly titled “Marcia Gets Creamed” where Marcia, Jan and Peter compete for the top employee spot at Haskell’s Ice Cream Parlour and who could forget the annual trip episode? This time to King’s Island Amusement Park in Cincinnati. Jan, once again is a selling point as she haplessly tries to out-do her siblings in popularity and book smarts (perhaps someone should point out to Jan that she has a killer body and huge rack?).

However there are quite a few “Jump The Shark” moments; in “Out Of This World” Greg and Marcia trick Bobby and Peter into believing a UFO is visiting the Brady house. A cheesy spin-off is attempted with “Kelly’s Kids” in which friends of the Brady’s adopt three young boys of different nationalities, inciting rage in the “white bread” suburbia. Then of course there’s the introduction of Carol’s nephew, Cousin Oliver - a thinly-veiled attempt to reintroduce cute after Cindy hit puberty.

Though universally maligned as killing the show, Oliver actually has one of the most surprising and memorable lines in the series run. Carol quickly extricates herself from a conversation where Oliver asks about the breeding habits of Cindy’s rabbits to which Oliver replies “Gee, seems Aunt Carol has a problem talking about sex”.

My love for the Brady’s is no secret and though I hope that someday all the reunion specials will be released individually, my fingers are also crossed that an Australian release of the complete boxset that was released in the US. The boxset boasts not only the five seasons of the original run but an exclusive Bonus Features disc containing a two-part episode of THE BRADY KIDS (the animated spin-off), A VERY BRADY CHRISTMAS (the monster-rating 1989 reunion movie) and THE BRADY 500 (a movie-length pilot for short-lived 90’s drama THE BRADYS. This series was also known as “BradySomething thanks to 90’s type dramas like... wait for it... Jan’s infertility (she has to adopt a Korean baby), Bobby’s paralysis (he’s crippled in a racing car accident), (I wish we were making this up) Cindy’s affair with a married man (believe it or not, the girl with a lisp is now working as a radio DJ) and Peter, the playboy in the age of AIDS (I wish we were making this up). It’s also the last ever appearance of Robert Reed before he died and it has NEVER screened in Australia and is still not out on DVD anywhere in the world (save that BRADY 500 opener). Here’s the opening credits to prove it does exist. Note that Maureen McCormick refused to return as Marcia who would become an alcoholic in the new-look Bradys).

RYAN VOX'S REVIEW: MILE HIGH SEASONS 1 & 2

MILE HIGH Seasons 1 & 2 ****

MILE HIGH is a British television drama based around the lives of the cabin crew of Fresh!, a fledgling budget airline that provides short haul flights to exotic European locations out of London. The show screened on Channel 9 a couple of years ago and from the word go I was hooked!

Here we meet Will, Lehann, KC, Emma and Marco - Fresh!'s hottest hosties who not only share a job and a flat but often each other's beds. The show is fast-paced, slick and makes good use of it's attractive cast and exotic Spanish locations. Marco is the new recruit at Fresh! and through his eyes we are exposed to a punchy, hedonistic lifestyle of low salaries, drugs, booze, back-stabbing, raging hormones and suntans.

However, alongside the raunchy action some real issues are explored - single-parenthood, crippling debt, abortion, terrorism, theft, love - resulting in a great balance of intense emotion and blatant frivolity. It is an insecure world where the constant temptation to shop, look good and party often takes it's toll.

Along the way we pick up some additional characters and standouts include naïve Lorna who is blissfully unaware that people mistake her for a transsexual, sexy Ed who works part-time as a stripper and has some interesting piercings, simmering Jackie who uses her body to get what she wants and Janis "Steel Balls" Steel, the purser from hell whose secrets may be more scandalous than those of the younger crew she passes judgement on.

MILE HIGH is frothy, light entertainment perfect for those who like their soaps a little more risqué or want a behind-the-scenes look at airline life - similar in style and tone to HOTEL BABYLON. My only criticism is the inconsistent packaging on these sets which places promotional shots of cast from Season 1 on the Season 2 set and vice-versa.

SECRET LIFE OF BEES

I had heard a lot about The Secret Life of Bees so I was very eager to sit down & watch this Movie.
It was originally suppose to be on dvd Late August but to my surprise has been released early !
And I am extremley pleased to say that I was not dissapointed at all.!
Taken from a top selling novel, the movie is set in the 60's in America at the time where Black & White people were not allowed to mix but the law had been passed to stop this problem but white people were still not allowing it to happen in some areas.
A stellar cast including a teenage Dakota Fanning, Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson, Paul Bettany and my favourite Tristan Wilds from 90210 !!!.
The story has it all, compassion, love, abuse, death, racism, laughter, but most of all a sense that through any hardships people can triumph !
The extras on the dvd is a must see as it shows this wonderful cast behind
the scenes in action & trust me this is a real treat.
Sadly this movie did not get the promotion it needed due to Jennifer Hudsons family tradgedy as I am sure it would have been a much larger hit if it had of.
A must see movie !
4 & half stars

LEGALLY BLONDES 3

PRINCESS PENNY'S DVD REVIEWS
Out July 7th in Australia is LEGALLY BLONDE 3, the third in a series of movies that starred Reece Witherspoon as the fabulous Elle Woods. Sadly LB3 does not feature Reese at all although in her new title of 'Producer' one wonders exactly how much producing she did....
LB1 was a fabulous movie & LB2 was good. LB3 is fun, cute & very pink and if you are a teenager this movie will delight you.
The story is Elle Wood's twin blonde cousins from England who come to LA to follow in Elle's footsteps at her school. The girls are played by real life twin sisters who are cute but not cute enough to save the movie from being just OK.
The young male actors Bobby Campo (GREEK) & Christoph Saunders (GHOST WHISPERER) are great eye candy and worth watching but don't expect much more than that.
3 Stars (and only because of the guys!)

DEAD END DRIVE-IN

It’s been sitting on my DVD shelf for several months now but last night I finally watched this long-forgotten Aussie flick and was pleasantly surprised. Slammed and shunned when it was released in 1986, it’s now enjoying somewhat of a renaissance thanks to Quentin Tarantino talking it up on NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD along with everything else director Brian Trenchard-Smith has ever made.

Hilariously set in the future (1992), an economic collapse has forced the government to lure young kids into drive-in theatres where they then incarcerate them and feed them free drugs, junk food and crap films to keep them happy. Whilst the MAD MAX rip off “car boys” are about as scary as soggy hot chips, there’s a whiff of social satire in there as well when a group of Asian immigrants get trucked in and the white punk kids react like Cronulla thugs (sadly, some things never change).

Frequently nude actors Ned Manning (THE RESTLESS YEARS) and Natalie McCurry (CHANCES) star alongside Lynn Collingwood (HOME & AWAY’S Colleen), Wilbur Wilde (HEY HEY IT’S SATURDAY), Brett Climo (THE FLYING DOCTORS), comedian Garry Who and radio funnyman Dave Gibson. There’s also a great 80’s soundtrack with tracks from Kids In The Kitchen, Machinations and Hunters & Collectors.

I got the general drift about half an hour in so went back to the beginning to re-watch with Brian Trenchard-Smith’s audio commentary. Some of his comments are hilarious (while watching an on-screen explosion he says “I love napalm in the morning, evening, late afternoon, I don’t really care) and it’s worth paying attention to what screens on the drive-in screen. They are all Trenchard-Smith’s previous films (THE MAN FROM HONG KONG and TURKEY SHOOT) with one violent sequence cut by the censor and snuck back in here on the big screen without anyone noticing. Hilarious.

DVD out now through Madman (and support your local drive-in, they are a dying art form)” *** 1/2 Stars

TRUE BLOOD SEASON 2 SNEAK PEAK

True Blood Season 2 Ep 1 Sneak Peak

With Season 1 getting an encore screening on Showcase every Tuesday and the DVD now in stores, word of mouth continues to grow about True Blood.

Here in LA Season 2 has just started and Princess Penny though you might like a taste of the 'Blood' to get you all warmed up !

Season 2 starts immediately where Season1 finished (to the minute in fact) so don’t expect any 5 year flash forwards like some other shows.

Our beloved Sookie & Bill are still there with the rest of the motley crue, although there are 2 new regulars. One is Bill’s recent vampire daughter and the other is the new waitress at Merlots Bar played by Ashley Jones (who continues to play Bridget in The Bold & The Beautiful). She’s already let slip that she hates the taste of blood so take that as you will.


Don’t want to say too much more but needless to say it seems we will see Aussie boy Ryan Kwanten naked again all season (and he has also admitted that something homoerotic is coming). His character Jason also seems to have found a new religion.. Such good eye candy !

4 Stars

The Sarah Silverman Program Season 1

The Sarah Silverman Program Season 1 ***

Comedian Sarah Silverman reinvents the modern sitcom, injecting her edgy (and often offensive) brand of stand-up into the genre, playing a fictionalised version of herself.

Sarah is unemployed, directionless and content to inflict her undiluted self-absorption on friends, family and complete strangers alike. Lacking any sense of an internal monologue, boundaries or social niceties Sarah is crass, offensive, utterly oblivious and most importantly - hilarious!

Real-life older sister Laura Silverman plays Sarah's responsible younger sibling who takes care of Sarah by paying her rent. Rounding out the cast is giant, orange, gay neighbours Steve and Brian, Doug the dog (whom Sarah found in the trash) and Officer Jay, Laura's cop boyfriend that Sarah despises.

During the course of the season's six episodes, Sarah embarks on a car ride fuelled by cough syrup hallucinations, takes in a homeless man to prove her humanitarianism, founds an AIDS charity in her name on the possibility that she might be infected, shepherds a little girl through the beauty pageant she herself lost as a child, explores lesbianism, shoplifts batteries and has her prayers answered by God (with whom she later has an uncomfortable one-night-stand).

The show will make you both squirm in your seat and fall off it with laughter as Sarah handles each situation in a way that only she can, tackling topical issues with extreme selfishness, sarcasm, politically incorrect one-liners and a child-like innocence. Not to mention spontaneous musical numbers about poop and "your mother".

Not everyone will "get" this show but if you have a fondness for witty satire and scathing social commentary disguised as toilet humour peppered with racism, sexism and all other things "ism" then this one should be on your watchlist. As the DVD packshot proudly proclaims; "Sarah Silverman is an American treasure. An offensive, filthy-mouthed treasure."

The Sarah Silverman Program Season 1 DVD is available in stores now.

(I would have given this 4-stars had the season been longer!)

NO MONSTER SCHLONG FOR UNDERBELLY DVD

UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES is released on DVD today but sadly there will be no UNCUT footage of a certain UNCUT big one.

Back in January, while the show was still being filmed, a group email was sent out requiring the following:

mid 20's age range
slender in build (no super muscle men)
approx 5'10
prefer fair hair
prefer no tatts
Male must be based in Sydney or willing to get to Sydney at own expense
and the clincher.... must have a MASSIVE WILLY!!!

It is expected to be no more than a half day closed shoot, paying about $500 - no acting experience required! Face will not be shown, and identity kept anonymous. Basically just walking past the camera in the nude.

At the time the description seemed to describe Matthew Newton's character and when the series aired there was a mention from Anna Hutchison's character (Alison) that drug baron Terry Clark was indeed packing a big one. But on the cutting room floor was another scene filmed with Roy Billing (Bob Trimbole) and Matthew Newton (Terry Clark) standing next to each other at a urinal. Sure enough, Aussie Bob had glanced down and recoiled in horror at the MASSIVE WILLY!!!

Village Roadshow tell me there is no new footage along these lines in the DVD release. Their new UNCUT footage only features more graphic violence (particulary when George Freeman gets half his face blown off) and apparently, if it's at all possible, even more boobs and bums.

In total, UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO TITTIES was actually a tale of 56 titties which we counted during its TV run. The criteria used was this - if one scene featured two topless strippers, that counted as two sets. But if the same breasts re-appeared laterin the same episode, they weren't counted again.

So the gauntlet is now being thrown down to anyone out there who wants to watch the DVD version and report back on whether they can get a higher titbit count. Enjoy!

THE BEST MOVIE OF 2008 NOW ON DVD

NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD *****

The best movie I saw in 2008 is now the hardest DVD to find in 2009. Yesterday I went searching for this brilliant doco about the wild days of Australian filmmaking in the 70s and 80s. Some stores classify it as a doumentary, others list it with their Aussie movies. But because this is a DVD you buy to keep to watch again and again, it was sold out in several stores I visited. Take my word for it - this is a film well worth tracking down with appearances from Quentin Tarantino, Barry Humphries, Jamie Lee Curtis, Dennis Hopper, Jackie Weaver, Roger Ward, Deborah Gray, Briony Behets etc etc etc. Chase it down now while you can.

Melrose Place Season 4

Melrose Place Season 4 ****

Given my mounting excitement for the CW's revamp of 90's soap shocker Melrose Place (please Aussie networks pick this show up!) I thought it time that I checked in with old friends at LA's hottest address.

Season 4 kicks off with a BANG as the bombs planted by schizophrenic Kimberly (Marcia Cross) in last season's cliffhanger are detonated - sending debris and attractive corpses flying sky-high and laying waste to the iconic apartment complex.

But it's not long before Melrose is rebuilt, Alison recovers from her blindness and Amanda's shortlived sympathetic phase comes to an end.

Get ready for a season full of outrageous plot twists as Kimberly escapes charges to become a radio DJ and moves into the building (WTF?), Alison marries her father, Matt is framed for murder, Michael and Sydney continue to scheme and Heather Locklear continues to proudly display thick, black re-growth in her blonde locks.

Melrose Place Season 4 is definitely one of the show's best seasons!

The Brady Bunch Season 4

The Brady Bunch Season 4 ****

Growing up in the 80's and watching re-runs of The Brady Bunch, like many other kids, I wanted to live with the fictional Brady's. Though, while most kids liked the idea of moving in with the squeaky clean, perfect family it was the Brady house that I loved! And here on the Season 4 DVD set, 4222 Clinton Way looks fantastic in all it's fake wood-panelled, shag-carpeted glory! And oh, that orange kitchen!

The Brady's are Hawaii-bound for a special 3-part arc filled with intrigue, a tiki curse and some really dodgy special effects for Greg's surfing scenes.

Season 4 contains some of the shows most memorable moments such as;

• Marcia struggling to fit in on her first day of high school
• Greg having to choose between Marcia and his girlfriend for head cheerleader
• Bobby's aggresive stint as hall monitor
• Marcia copping a football to the face
• the kids trying to launch their singing act

Also watch out for: Eve Plumb's hilarious portrayal of the downtrodden Jan who once again desperately tries every wacky notion to stand apart from her siblings, Carol's over-zealous interest in EVERYTHING (methinks something in Alice's meatloaf is affecting Carol!) and new hairstyles all around as Carol gets a mullet, Cindy loses the curls and Mike and Greg go for a nice perm!

The Brady Bunch Season 4 is camp hilarity and a must-see before The Final Season is released next month.

Zac & Miri Make a Porno

Zac & Miri Make A Porno ***

It was with great trepidation that I sat to watch this movie, expecting vulgarity and smut. But along with that I also laughed, laughed a lot and laughed some more.
The movie has more swearing than a Guy Ritchie movie and is more crass than a real porno flick but somehow towards the end of the movie you really do care about Zac & Miri and their complicated love life.

Special guest star Bradon Routh ( Superman Returns) and Justin Long ( Die Hard 4) have the funniest scene at a School Reuinion where they discuss fellatio. Also nice to see on board is former real-life underage porn legend Traci Lords ( Melrose Place) and not surprisingly she plays her part of 'Bubbles' to perfection !

All in all a cute movie, with a little too much crass amongst the laughs, but I am sure that title will inspire all you boys to rent it big time. Until LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS hits shelves in a few months, this is the one to snicker about at DVD store counters.

Released 18th June 09.

HOTEL FOR DOGS

HOTEL FOR DOGS **

I was slightly dissapointed in this movie, as I had been looking forward to seeing stars like:

Lisa Kudrow
Emma Roberts
Don Cheadle
And lots of cute dogs..

But sadly the movie stank. It was far fetched, no story premise, unbelievable and bordering on the ridiculous. Not even the innocent loveliness of Julia Robert’s niece could save this. Emma Roberts did so well with NANCY DREW and WILD CHILD but this movie just let her down...

Lisa Kudrow played the aging rocker well but every time she broke into song I half expected her to break into her famous FRIEND song … remember "Smelly Cat”?

If you are under 10 and love animals watch Hotel For Dogs...everyone else should not check in

2 stars .. only because of the cute dogs..

Released 18th June 09

MARLEY & ME

MARLEY & ME ****

This movie grabs you right by the (dog) bone as a couple played by Jennifer Anniston & Owen Wilson adopt a labrador puppy called Marley. He turns out to be the cutest but naughtiest puppy around with Kathleen Turner as the dog trainer (she looks slightly worn these days) and Grey's Anatomy hunk Eric "McSteamy" Dane. Jen is perfectly cast and Owen Wilson is delightful as the doting dad. Marley & Me is a must-have movie, especially for dog-lovers, but be warned - it is a tearjerker at the end. Have a box of tissues handy. Sob....

Tori and Dean: Inn Love Season 1

Tori and Dean: Inn Love Season 1 ****

Who ever would have thought that we would actually be craving more Tori Spelling?

Tori and Dean: Inn Love Season 1 follows Tori Spelling and actor husband Dean McDermott as they scrape up the last of Tori’s money (and dignity) to set up a Bed & Breakfast following her disinheritance by Tori’s rich, producer father’s death.

Not only do Tori and Dean have to find a suitable B&B and learn to fit in with their hillbilly neighbours, but they also set themselves the mammoth task of re-inventing the B&B for the young, hip, modern crowd – all in a few weeks before Tori gives birth.

Hilarity ensues as they throw a garage sale to sell all their personal belonging in order to re-do virtually every room on the tightest of budgets with minimal (and bizarre!) help from their Hollywood friends.

Watch as Tori grows increasingly paranoid in her pregnancy (“We had sex and I think it killed the baby”, “I had a bath and I think it killed the baby”) and Dean gets frustrated as the mountain of work he needs to complete solo keeps growing.

It will make you laugh out loud as Tori goes into labour the morning after the B&B opens and Dean deserts a houseful of guests, but it will also open your eyes to another side of Tori Spelling – someone who is intelligent, vulnerable and surprisingly endearing.

Tori and Dean: Inn Love Season 1 is reality TV at it’s best – celebrity fish-out-of-water. No word yet on DVD releases for Season 2 and 3 but keep checking back!

ONE TREE HILL Season 5 DVD

ONE TREE HILL: Season 5 Out Now ****

Ten may have dropped it but TREE HILL (as fans call it) continues on DVD. It's about two step-brothers growing up in a small American Town (which apparently only has one tree and one hill). The first four seasons centred around high school but season 5 jumped four years into the future to avoid college. Now it's about who has become successful in business but the showhas become more out there than ever before. Watch for special moments such as Murder. Runaway Brides, Bizarre Adoptions, Multipule Sexual Indiscretions, Heart Donor Madness (and we mean crazy) and the infamous Psycho Kidnapping Nanny. Jumping 4 years was a great decision by writer/ producer Mark Schwan for more grown up fun. Season 6 is due out on DVD soon and Season 7 is being made now so get into this guilty secret now because there's much more to come.