THE BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR ... AND THE BEST BUMS

So every movie critic is listing their Top 10 Movies of 2009 but I'm on holidays and can't really be bothered. What I will do is agree with most of Gary Maddox's choices from The Sydney Morning Herald. Best Australian Movie - SAMSON AND DELILAH (check). Best Animated Movie - UP (check). Best Re-release - WAKE IN FRIGHT (check). Film of the Year - AVATAR. Look, it was good but I would probably give that award to the crowd-pleasing INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS because Quentin Tarantino delivered one of the most bizarre WWII movies ever. But the movie I enjoyed the most in 2009 was EASY VIRTUE. This UK film was from Aussie director Stephen Elliott and they did not approve os his unqieu take on their Noel Coward. But I thought it was perfectly cast, beautifully filmed and an absolute joy from start to finish. When it comes to the best and worst of TV in 2009, we have recorded many, many segments for THE PLAYLIST so check them out (I am in serious holiday mode sorry). And here's the best one where we look back at the Best Bums of 2009 ....

YOUR CHRISTMAS TV GUIDE

Tonight (Wednesday) is the Season 2 Premiere of FRINGE and then the last ever episode of THE WIRE on GO! Tomorrow it's Christmas Eve and the pickings are ... pretty slim. The best (and one of the only first-run shows) is THE ROYLE FAMILY: THE NEW SOFA on UKTV at 8.30pm. It's not their best Christmas special ever (the previous one where Nana died was much better) but even an ordinary ROYLE FAMILY is better than nothing (my arse it is!). With absolutely NOTHING to watch on free to air all Christmas Day, switch over to Foxtel and Austar for some fun marathons. Fox Classics has a CARRY ON day (pictured), Arena is SEX AND THE CITY, W is ARMY WIVES and Showcase plays the first full season of TRUE BLOOD. And don't forget the brand new GAVIN AND STACEY Christmas Special on UKTV at 8.30pm ... Nerry Christmas to alll ...

RYAN VOX'S REVIEW: WILL YOU MERRY ME?

WILL YOU MERRY ME? ****

Well, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas around the office at the moment. Whilst I’m not a fan of the obligatory gaudy decorations, tacky themed t-shirts and earrings or the local DVD store that jacks its prices up in the fortnight leading up to the holiday, somehow my cynicism fades and I get sentimental and generous around this time of year.

Each Xmas, I drag out some seasonal favourites on DVD (I adore Beverly De Angelo in NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION), relax and give in to my short-lived holiday spirit.

By chance I came across the Xmas-themed WILL YOU MERRY ME? and decided to check it out on the sole basis that it teams up the hilarious Cynthia Stevenson (DEAD LIKE ME) with JUST SHOOT ME’s Wendie Malick.

The premise is simple. Rebecca Fine is Jewish, sophisticated and comes from an upper-class background in LA. Henry Kringle on the other hand had a tradition-bound Christian upbringing in a small, mid-western town. The crazy kids are madly in love and living in New York when Henry, on the spur of the moment, pops the question. Naturally Rebecca says ‘yes’ and they decide it’s time for their relatives to meet. Cultures clash as the two families gather for the first time during the week of Christmas / Hanukah and it’s a comedic ride of misguided good intentions as they try desperately to be polite and respect each other’s cultures and traditions against the backdrop of mid-west America. Think MEET THE FOCKERS but with outrageous Xmas displays and a Xmas-obsessed town of weirdos.

The gorgeous Wendie Malick is fantastic as Jewish-matriarch Suzie Fine and delivers her hilarious asides with the icy stillness I have come to love her for. Watch out for the scene where Malick threatens Rudolph the reindeer (one of the town’s most treasured inhabitants) and then accidentally runs him over. Another winner a scene in which Malick accidentally “outs” the Kringle’s eldest son and it is perfectly countered by Cynthia Stevenson’s manic portrayal of Marilyn. As in DEAD LIKE ME, Stevenson manages to bring a fine mix of borderline insanity and genuine warmth to her character and refrains from going over the top. The eventual meltdown where both women scream at each other in full-view of the neighbours is hilarious and the film is topped off by a likeable supporting cast.

If you’re like me and loathe hideous Xmas decorations you’ll love the rivalry of the neighbours trying to top each other’s displays with giant inflatable Santa’s, fake snow and back-up power generators.

Being that this is a Christmas (and Hanukah) movie, there is a sprinkling of sentimentality and schmaltz but thankfully this isn’t ever really laid on too thick.

A solid effort for a Canadian made-for-TV movie that in most ways is better than some of the theatrical releases I have seen in 2009. Light-hearted entertainment and recommended viewing for any time of the year - not just at Christmas.

WILL YOU MERRY ME? is available in stores now or online from Eagle Entertainment.

THIS IS IT

Dannii Minogue fans are in a frenzy as they wait for tonight's (Tuesday) Australian screening of her TV interview with Piers Morgan in which she discusses her Playboy spread (pictured), marriage break-up with Julian McMahon and Kylie's cancer. Everyone who's seen it says that Dannii comes out of this interview with her dignity intact and she garnered even more respect last week in the UK when she sent herself up silly on BBC sitcom BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. This hilarious show (which is screening in its first season on ABC1 every Wednesday - don't miss it) is set in the late 90s so Dannii plays herself during her "All I Wanna Do" period. I remember that infamous video clip as the only times the entire staff of music channel Channel [V] stopped work to all stare simultaneously at TV monitors as Dannii unveiled her new face, blonder hair and bigger boobies. Spookily, her broad Aussie accent in her BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE send-up makes her sound like she is impersonating sister Kylie's guest spot on KATH & KIM . You can take the girls out of West Melbourne but you can't ... you know the rest ...

DO NOT MISS THIS TV EVENT

There are many treats on television this week in the lead-up to Christmas. Tonight (Sunday) there's GREEN ACRES and Blake Edward's hilarious 1981 satire on Hollywood S.O.B. starring his topless wife Julie Andrews while UKTV premieres AN AUDIENCE WITH SIR MICHAEL PARKINSON. WHAT KATIE DID NEXT is some SORT OF rubbish about the appalling Jordan tomorrow (Monday) on Lifestyle You while DANNII MINOGUE: MY STORY is Seven's biggie for Tuesday. But promise me you will all watch NIP/TUCK tomorrow on GO! because it's the infamous episode featuring 80's nighttime soap superstars Shari Belafonte (HOTEL), Deborah Shelton (DALLAS), Donna Mills and Joan Van ARk (KNOTS LANDING). Mills is ageless and looks incredible but Van Ark (pictured) - well I think her look today speaks for itself. It wasn't always like this of course. Before playing the iconic Valene Ewing in DALLAS and then KNOTS LANDING, and before all that plastic surgery (which she at least has the irony to send up in tomorrow's NIP/TUCK), Van Ark was an ingenue who starred with BLAZING SADDLES' Cleavon Little in an early version of SCRUBS called TEMPERATURES RISING ....

IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR BRANDING

Last night I watched bits of WOOLWORTHS CAROLS IN THE DOMAIN on Seven with such luminaries as Grant Denyer, Rob "Millsy" Mills and Kate Ceberano. I much prefer tonight's COOGEE CAROLS which won't feature any IDOL rejects, Scientoligists or supermarket sponsorship but will be a hell of a lot more laidback. Former MASTERCHEF host Sarah Wilson has made a really interesting prediction for the New Year and it is that those who brand themeselves the best will survive 2010. Guess that's why Woolies (and Coles) are spreading so much Christmas cheer by playing Christmas Carols nonstop and shifting bestselling DVDs and books below cost price in a bid to put smaller specialty shops out of business. That must also be why Daryl Somers was photographed while lunching with Seven boss David Leckie. You see, Daryl still hasn't signed his contract with Nine for HEY HEY and there's nothing like lunching with the competition in a bid to jack your price up. Pretty old school though but what else would we expect from that vaudeville genius Somers? That Andrew Daddo brand also goes from strength to strength. Daddo quit a choice radio gig on ABC in 2009 so he could cahsh up at Nine with this AFTERNOON. When the doomed TV chatfest crashed after just 12 episodees, Daddo played out his contract to Nine by doing the voiceovers for THE APPRENTICE and today he begins a fabulously fresh newspaper column in The Sun Herald called "Practical Dad". Hope he's going to Coogee Carols tonight so he can make more hilarious observations about kids and Santa. And Dylan Lewis, who hosted RECOVERY on the ABC several decades ago, will return to his roots by becoming the co-host of Ten's VIDEO HITS. Sadly this means the multi-talented Guppy Hayden, formerly of the cin-house commercial breaks on ROVE and apparently still the flatmate of Hamish or Andy (wjich must be the only reason Ten ever hired him), is "mnoving on to pursue other interests". Hilarious. Dylan's firsst gig for VH will be The Big Day Out where Guppy was also introduced last year to many clearly horrified musicians. There's nothing worse than twats who think it's all about them and continue to mug for the cameras even when somebody else tries to speak. Which is why I am always going to miss the best bad show of 2010, THIS IS YOUR LAUGH on 7HD with the guest Dylan Lewis and the wonderful host with the most Andrew O'Keefe ...

ALL IS FORGIVEN ....

GO! is keeping good on its promise to keep screening CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM with the 6th season finale (this Sunday) continuing straight into the 7th SEINFELD season which was hacked up into two broadcasts on Nine a few weeks ago. Now we can see the whole saga and I can't wait. There's also some Christmas cheer from Movie Extra announcing a second series of THE JESTERS. The Mick Molloy sitcom (with one of the year's best performances from Deborah Kennedy as his agent) is about a CHASER-like comedy troupe and well worth another visit. Over on 7TWO, from January 17 THE JAY LENO SHOW is moving from 6pm to midday and will now serve as a lead-in to ALL MY CHILDREN making it the only non-soap in the daytime line-up for lunchtime viewers. Replacing JAY at 6pm is ALF and FULL HOUSE meaning they will compete with GO!'s THE FLINTSTONE and THE JETSONS as the alternatives to the all-important 6pm NEWS bulletins. Arena has snapped up THE JACKSONS: A FAMILY DYNASTY starring Jermaine and all the other fame-hungry brothers nobody can remember - it begins February 8. And don't forget Peter Jacakson's beautiful remkae of KING KONG (tomorrow on Ten) and the new series of WILD AT HEART on ABC2 now starring Hayley Mills. She made two seminal movies int he 60s, THE PARENT TRAP where she played twins and the hilarious THE TROUBLE WITH ANGELS where her naughty schoolgirl act with "scathingly brilliant ideas" drove most of the nuns to madness ...

WHY I LOVE SOAPS THIS XMAS

I blame Kerri-Anne. Ever since she went on summer holidays (and her show went into repeats) I've been watching a lot of 7TWO starting with SONS AND DAUGHTERS which I can always re-watch for the incomparable performances of Rowena Wallace (as Pat The Rat) and Pat McDonald (pictured here as Fiona with Kim Lewis as Jill). This week Fiona told Jill she used to be a "pro" and then straight after on HOME & AWAY: THE EARLY YEARS, Carly went hitchhiking and got "assaulted" which is a G-rated way of saying raped. Hang around for HEADLAND and you'll see Dustin Clare pre-SATISFACTION, Gyton Grantley pre-UNDERBELLY and Rachael Taylor pre-TRANSFORMERS (and pre-tattoo of boyfriend Matthew Newton on her wrist, soooo classy). I've only watched SHORTLAND STREET once (just to make sure RESTLESS YEARS and HOLIDAY ISLAND legend Peter Mochrie is still making a mockery of himself) and those early episodes of EMMERDALE are (as a friend described it) like "doing a crossword puzzle in reverse" as we compare notes about present day episodes. Of course true soap fans understand the cyclical nature of all long-running shows and how you have to stick with some for weeks (and sometimes months) on end enduring boring and mind-numbing nothingness waiting for the good stuff again. This week it was the turn of EASTENDERS which unveiled not only slightly different opening credits (new strings musical arrangement, a bluer Thames river and an all-new modern Google-like aerial view of London complete with clouds) but the return of Daniella Westbrook as Sam Mitchell. Her wardrobe was magnificent (and as classy as Rachael Taylor's tattoo) and her forehead was heavily wrinkled indicating she has spent her plastic surgery piggy bank purely on rebuilding the septum in her nose (which she burnt out through years of cocaine abuse, stunning. especially the bit about selling her vaccum cleaner for more drugs). And with bookies already betting that the Christmas Day episode of EASTENDERS will (once again) be the UK's top-rating Christmas Day show, here's a sneak peek of what we can expect to see here on UKTV in a few months ..

SUMMER NOT SO GOOD FOR TEN

A few weeks ago, Ten was marching confidently into Summer. They had a splashy new logo, a funky campaign and a raft of exciting programs like THE CLEVELAND SHOW, CALIFORNICATION and WHITE COLLAR (starring Matt Bomer, pictured). Sadly the reality for Ten is they are now floundering after coming fourth, behind even the ABC, in last week's ratings. They've had to make a number of late programming changes like dumping last night's Paris Hilton is a demon-themed episode of SUPERNATURAL for the premiere of SGU STARGATE UNIVERSE and slipping OPRAH'S CHRISTMAS AT THE WHITE HOUSE into the rundown tonight rather than THE OFFICE. Worst of all is the continuing dismal ratings for THE 7PM PROJECT. Ten should be admired for sticking with the chat show through a non-ratings period but the audience is not showing them any love for it. How depressing that people still prefer to watch repeats of AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS and HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER rather than all new episodes of THE 7PM PROJECT which this week is broadcasting live from Bondi (it probably didn't help that Ruby Rose was looking for "hot backpackers" before a plug for BONDI RESCUE). If only one of its cast members could be involved in some sort of scandal like those HOME & AWAY party boys and girls. Poor old Todd Lassance has been caught with cocaine bringing to an end a terrible year for Summer Bay actors after dark. And i another case of bad timing, Lassance is on the cover of TV WEEK this week under the headline of "Christmas Secrets". Considering he's also about go go off to Hollywood to try his luck, the timing is bad but nothing could be worse than Ten's Friday night schedule which is predictably being flicked back to movie repeats from this weekend. Last Friday my favourite TV show OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE struggled with less viewers than SESAME STREET - ouch. It's being moved to 10.30pm this week and the only reason it'll last the summer is Ten probably needs those local drama points. Anyway, hopefully Paris Hilton fans (is that an oxymoron?) can see the SUPERNATURAL ep next Monday at the new time of 9.30pm ...

THE BOX BOMBS

A few weeks back I wondered who would want to see Cameron Diaz's (pictured) movie THE BOX when Australia's version (back in 1975) was clearly preferrable. Entertainment Weekly magazine has since reported that the sci-fi thriller from DONNIE DARKO director Richard Kelly earned straight Fs across all age groups in the US when CinemaScore, a research company that questions viewers after the flick, went to THE BOX. Apparently only three other films have done as badly over the last six year - BUG, DARKNESS and our own WOLF CREEK. EW then goes on to say that even ALL ABOUT STEVE, considered this year's biggest "turkey", scored a C+ average. "Our system is A is good, B is average and C is bad. We poll opening night audiences, people who really wanted to see the movie so if they give it an F, something's wrong," said CinemaScore president Ed Mintz. So with that in mind, let's look back at our version of THE BOX from this Crawford Productions retrospective. There's scenes from the TV series and clips from the movie with Graham Kennedy playing himself and Vanessa Leigh (as Fanny) and Marilyn Vernon (as Ingrid) getting topless as all good tele birds i the 70s did ...

AVATAR IS AMAZING

Film companies need to stop showing journalists incomplete footage of upcoming movies. A few months ago I went to see 30 minutes of AVATAR and walked away somewhat underwhelmed. Last night (Friday) I saw the complete film and was pleasantly surprised but that half hour sneak peek beforehand had ruined some of the film's surprises. Don't preview unfinished films (or maybe I should just stop going). Here's what I thought about the finished film:
Has TITANIC director James Cameron done it again? Yes. Does it redefine 3D? Yes. Is it good to see Sigourney Weaver (pictured) reunited with Cameron again after ALIENS? Oh Yes. Does the film sometimes seem reminiscent of other films like ... THE TERMINATOR? Yes. STAR WARS? Yes. LORD OF THE RINGS? Yes. TITANIC? No. Does AVATAR have a TITANIC running time? Yes. Will the critics rave? Yes. Will it top the box office? Yes. Will sci-fi and fantasy film fans love it? Oh Yes. Will non sci-fi and fantasty film fans love it? No but they should still like it. Is Sam Worthington a star? Oh Yes. Does he try a bit too hard with the "knockabout Aussie" and "Russell Crowe is my hero" routine (no shoes, strine accent, "accidentally" dropping the "F" word)? Judge for yourself maaaaate ...

PETER JACKSON HAS DONE IT AGAIN

New Zealand director Peter Jackson proved his incredible talent with the stunning LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy and his truly beautiful remake of KING KONG. Now he's back with another Christmas blockbuster THE LOVELY BONES. Last night I went to the Premiere because I wanted to see Susan Sarandon in the flesh and what a beauty she was too. Based on a bestselling novel I've never read (but plenty of others seem to have), Jackson has filled this film with his trademark sweeping camerawork and imaginative visuals. And did I mention the cast? Apart from Sarandon, there's Rachel Weisz, Stanley Tucci, THE SOPRANOS' Michael Imperioli and Mark Wahlberg (pictured). If you're a fan of the book, watch the trailer below but if you don't know what it's about, hold off and just go see the movie when it opens on Boxing Day. The less you know about it the better but be warned, the tension is unberable at certain points. I was relieved to see it finish and plan to go back and see it again so I can appreciate it without digging my hands into the armrest ...

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST

Here we go again - AS THE WORLD TURNS is being cancelled after 54 years and will air its last and 13.661st episode next September, 2010. The daytime soap was a training ground for actors such as Julianne Moore, Marisa Tomei, Meg Ryan, Parker Posey, Dana Delaney, Mary McDonnell, Jordana Brewster, Jason Biggs, James Earl Jones and Brian Bloom (pictured). So that leaves CBS with just two soaps but they are the top-rated ones on air and probably safe for several more years, THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS and THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. It's NBC's DAYS OF OUR LIVES which could be the next to face the axe while ABC seems determined to keep ALL MY CHILDREN, ONE LIFE TO LIVE and GENERAL HOSPITAL alive ... for now. Here's a classic mid-80s clip from ATWT featuring Julianne Moore, Marissa Tomei and Steven Webber ...

TOOLING AROUND

Jessalyn Gilsig (pictured) has had a busy week on Aussie TV. On Sunday night in GLEE, her character Teri Scheuster's fake pregnancy belly was finally discovered and then last night on NIP/TUCK, Gina fell to her death from the roof of a building after Christian literally screwed her into the abyss (despite having just insisted that he never wanted to go near her "sabretooth of a snatch" ever again). No doubt everyone who then stuck around on GO! for the premiere of DANTE'S COVE continued to reel in shock at the premiere episode which was chock-a-block with soft porn gay sex scenes and terrible acting. Yep, that's going to be a cult hit for sure. Tonight on GO! they have made an emergency re-scheduling, rushing to air a series called TOOL ACADEMY because it features one of Tiger Woods' slappers. Interesting that they can make changes on GO! so quickly yet they can't make any room for all the shows that get dumped by Nine. This week ER disappears yet again while in the US a light plane disappeared from the sky and fell on Wisteria Lane. Actually, this disaster ep looks really lame ....

HAS ANYONE TOLD WILLARD AND BEN?

I'M A CELEBRITY ... GET ME OUT OF HERE wrapped up filming in Northern NSW over the weekend but the drama is far from over. Some knobhead from the RSPCA has charged super spunk Stuart Manning (pictured) and Gino D'Acampo for killing a rat while in the jungle. Now I'm not one for animal cruelty but anyone who rids the world of a filthy rodent should be given a medal, not an arrest warrant to come back and face an Australian court next February. How ridiculous. Why don't we just charge Jordan while we're at it for having more work done on her face and body than the Pacific Highway? And will Seven be slapped with a fine for inciting a rat riot this Wednesday when they screen a midday movie called THE RATS? It stars TWIN PEAK'S Madchen Amick and nutjob Vincent Spano and I'm pretty sure more than a few rats will be exterminated ...

WHO NEEDS CONTINUITY WITH MADNESS LIKE THIS?

Tomorrow on GO! the gay supernatural soap DANTES COVE begins and if you're a fan of bad TV, see how long you can last through this turgid sludge. The soft porn sudser is excruciatingly slow and earnest with only occasional relief from Tracy Scoggins (THE COLBYS) as a malicous witch. About the only good thing about its Australian debut is it's a good fit for the increasingly mental NIP/TUCK every Monday. The nutty stuff also continues tonight (Sunday) with WEEDS winding up its third season on GO! before continuing straight into its fourth season thanks to a double episode timeslot. That means that the suburb of agrestic burns to the ground in the first half hour sending Nancy (Mary Louise-Parker) and her teenage boys fleeing south. When the next episode begins, both lads have had radical hairstyle changes, apparently while on the road fleeing the bushfire. It reminded me of the KNOTS LANDING cliffhanger where Abby (Donna Mills) was kidnapped in a limousine at the end of the fifth season, only to be seen in the back seat (supposedly minutes later) at the start of the sixth season and yes, she had a completely new do on top. WEEDS stumbles a bit when it arrives at its new LA beachside location and I reckon it struggles a bit deciding upon a new premise. Stick with it though, although this new series is decidedly cruel to Celia, things eventually improve ...

ARE YOU BEING SERVED, AUSTRALIAN STYLE

Throughout the 80s, many UK sitcoms came down under to basically remake their old scripts in Australian settings with local actors. There was FATHER DEAR FATHER IN AUSTRALIA (starring Sigrid Thornton), LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR IN AUSTRALIA (where racist Eddie moved to Blacktown, Sydney, GET IT?) and DOCTORS DOWN UNDER. There was also ARE YOU BEING SERVED with My Humphreys (John Inman) working in an Australian department store called Bone Brothers where everyone on the floor was spookily similar to his British counterparts. There was June Bronhill as Mrs Crawford (Slocombe) prattling on about her pussy, Shane Bourne as the randy Mr Randel (Lucas) and guest stars like Abigail (pictured) repeating the same perfume girl character seen in the original. Just 16 episodes were made but sadly there are no plans to ever release them on DVD because of copyright issues and missing master tapes. Sigh. That makes these short clips (including the lsot variety special THE JOHN INMAN SHOW) all the more valuable ...

SATURDAY TV SUDDENLY ROCKS

All year it is a wasteland but now it's summer TV amd Saturday night is chock-a-block with product. Seven premieres two new UK crime dramas, KINGDOM with Stephen Fry and WALLANDER with Kenneth Branagh. Nine finally airs CRUSOE with Sam Neill before its regular summer practice of burning off first run Aussie movies (tonight it's the typically tortured but reasonably interesting tale of people smuggling prostitutes in THE JAMMED). Ten repeats MERLIN before their bizarre scheduling of James Cameron's TITANIC. Why repeat the same Hugh Grant and Lindsay Lohan movies all year on this night but then slip in the world's number one box office hit now - why not save it for Christmas or Boxing Day when crowd pleasing TV shows are desperately needed? GO! continues their Saturday tradition of nutty late night horror flicks with THE HUNGER and THE LEGEND OF THE 7 GOLDEN VAMPIRES while SBS airs the amazing Mel Gibson-directed flick APOCALYPTO. A lot of filmgoers wiped off Gibson after THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST but there is no denying his talent - and this tale of ancient Mayan warriors is INCREDIBLE so stick with it and prepare yourself for a wild ride! And finally there's FEMME FATALE on Nine at midnight starring Rebecca Romijin Stamos and Antonion Banderas (pictured). It's directed by the creatively bankrupt Brian De Palma who rips off his own DRESSED TO KILL and BLOW OUT to once more try to make sex and violence incredibly stylish. See for yourself during the trailer (which is better than watching the actual movie) because it actually plays the entire film in fast forward. Watch and save yourself some time tonight ...

9021-OOOOHHHHHH!

The porn purveyors behind NOT THE BRADY BUNCH, NOT THE COSYS and NOT BEWITCHED have moved onto a spoof version of BEVERLY HILLS 90210. And by hiring a Tori Spelling lookalike, this time Donna will finally have breasts that aren't grotexquely lopsided. The original Tori is wise to pose like this (pictured) and let the Doesn't she prove that no matter how much money you have, things can still go awry if you pick the wrong plastic surgeon. And now to NOT BEVERLY HILLS 90210 ...

DADDY DEXTER

Summer TV on Thursdays seems kind of dull. Nine has repeats of RESCUE: SPECIAL OPS (already?) followed by new CSI: NY (with pictured guest star Tahyna Tozzi) while ABC2 continues with new GRAHAM NORTON SHOW. But wait - the fourth season of DEXTER premieres on SHOWCASE and if you'd had trouble keeping up with those repeats on Ten, don't worry, it pretty much all starts from scratch again. Dexter is now married and sleep-deprived because of his new baby son which is making his nighttime killing activities hard to fit in. There's a new office romance and Ketih Carradine is back as Dexter's favourite FBI serial killer hunter. I thought Series 3 was a bit slow but can happily report new villain John Lithgoe has really revved up this series again ...

BUT WHERE'S JULIE ANDREWS?

This January, UKTV will screen the reality series HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE MARIA in which they search for the lead for a new English stage production of THE SOUND OF MUSIC (see below). Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber and John TORCHWOOD Barrowman are judges while Graham Norton hosts. Yes, it doesn't get much camper than that although its sequel DREAM A LITTLE DREAM in which they search for a new lead for JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT (pictured) might out-camp it (and whispers are that UKTV will also screen this down under). It's another sign that Brit hits totally take over Australian TV during summer. I've just ntoiced the brilliant BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE is screening on ABC1 every Wednesday starting from tomorrow. This series had a run on ABC2 earlier this year and is absolutely hilarious (with a second series now airing in the UK). Do check it out ...