IS THIS THE BEST US DRAMA EVER?

This Tuesday ABC2 begins THE WIRE (with double episodes from 9.30pm) and with many now calling this the greatest US drama ever, there's bound to be huge interest in it. Interestingly, there was zero interest in it when it first started many years ago and despite some American critics singing its praises, it went unnoticed on Nine in a midnight timeslot and then also had a quiet screening on Fox 8. But when Barack Obama said it was his favourite TV show, suddenly everybody was hooked on THE WIRE. I've had the first four series on DVD but never had the time (nor inclination) to watch butnow I'm going to try to keep pace with ABC2. However, I will be watching it with subtitles despite its series creator saying not understanding the near indecipherable black Baltimore street slang is all part of the mood. Whatever, I prefer to know what's going on so it's subtitles all the way for me ...

SHOWS WE WANT ON DVD

At the time many dismissed it as just a show about whining yuppies but the truth was that THIRTYSOMETHING was one of the best American dramas of the early 90s. Now it's finally been released on DVD but only in the US. What's remarkable about this show is that all of the main cast were trained behind the scenes and allowed to direct THIRTYSOMETHING which has now led to many of them being major TV makers today. Peter Horton (Gary) and Ken Olin (Michael) pictured here, now produce, respectively, GRAY'S ANATOMY and BROTHERS AND SISTERS. Timothy Busfield (Elliot) directs DAMAGES, Patricia Wettig (Nancy) acts for real-life husband Olin (BROTHERS AND SISTERS) and all of the cast have reunited for this DVD. What a shame they never got together for a reunion movie called FORTYSOMETHING. Oh well, maybe they're thinking about FIFTYSOMETHING ...

IDOL IS ALL ABOUT THE BOYS

OK, I take it all back. AUSTRALIAN IDOL'S wildcard show delivered two great performances on Sunday from two performers who had previously bombed big time. Tim did a gret interpretation of The Beatles' "Yesterday" while shy schooltecher Toby pulled off U2's "With Or Without You". If these two don't get into the Top 12 next Sunday, I will ... probably be watching the DANCING WITH THE STARS GRAND FINAL. Throw in Scott the R&B brickie and IDOL is all about the boys this year but let's hope they can drag in a few more viewers. DWTS won the ratings battle again last night with 1.35 million viewers while IDOL slipped beneath the magic million mark to 990,000 ... Er-oh ...

THE NEXT NUMBER 96 DVD

For the past weekend, I've been watching 32 episodes of NUMBER 96, most of which I've never seen before. It's for the next DVD release to hit stores in February 2010 and the story continues right on from the end of the last DVD release THE PANTYHOSE STRANGLER. Here is a short teaser (just 20 seconds) taken from the episode straight after the murderess has killed herself. As you can see, life in the Sydney block of flats continues to be dangerous and hilarious. Watch the blonde extra's hysterical reaction, she is GOLD ...

HILARIOUS ADS

When video cassette recorders went on sale in Australia around 1980, a war was waged between Beta and VHS. Beta was the better system (so I bought one) but VHS was adopted by more manufacturers (and the porn industry) so it won out in the end. This Sanyo model was the first VCR that I ever owned and it is STILL going today. I love this ad for it which highlights the freeze frame via a cord that had to run across your loungeroom floor. They neglect to mention that the sound bar always created a line of static across any freeze frame and usually ran right across the bit you were desperately wanting to look at closer. Nonetheless, you can imagine my excitement at finally being able to record TV shows.

IT'S DANCING IDOL TIME AGAIN

Tonight (Sunday) it's time for the remote control shuffle between DANCING WITH THE STARS and AUSTRALIAN IDOL. Tonight DWTS once again drops its advertised 8pm show so that they keep IDOL under the thumb with another two hour spectacular and this time that involves the remaining four contestants doing an exhausting three dances each (and for all you Daniel MacPherson fans out there, here's another pic fro the 2002 shoot you've been loving so much). Meanwhile over at IDOL they are desperately trying to be relevant after a long week of audition shows. Andrew G is now Andrew Gunsberg and weighing in with some of his own opinions from the stage while new Judge Jay Dee is a disappointment. Ten must have picked him to keep the feelgood vibe from MASTERCHEF going but when most singers are doing bad karoake, there's not much to feel good about. There was just one surpise package from last week and that was Scott the brickie who blew everyone away with this, only the third time he has ever sugn in public. Let's just crown him the new IDOL and put the rest of them out of their misery ...

THE NOSE MAKES A COMEBACK

Until she burnt out her nasal septum with too much cocaine, the only people in Australia who had ever heard of Daniella Westbrook were those who watched her as Sam Mitchell in EASTENDERS. Then this infamous picture of her ran in tabloids all over the world and everyone sat up and took notice. There were luride tales of drug addiction (like the time she had to sell her vaccum cleaner to score) but she finally got clean and her nose rebuilt. Now she's heading back to the role that made her famous and returns in episodes to screen in the UK next week, meaning she's about 3 months away from her Australian comeback on UKTV ....

BACK TO SCHOOL WITH ABIGAIL

Although Abigail was first seen on Aussie TV as a dramatic actress in NUMBER 96, she fancied herself more as a comedienne. Which may be why she decided to join the cast of CLASS OF 75 as a mysterious French headmistress. After the black and white year of CLASS OF 74, the colour sequel wanted to up the laughs by changing Waratah High into a co-ed boarding school. Unfortunately it was ludicrously unfunny even with new cast members like Briony Behets, Marty Rhone, Peter Bensley, Peter Flett, Peta Toppano and the debut performance of Angela Punch-McGregor. But they all pale into insignificance when Abi arrives, not as a sexy schoolgirl as seen in Australian Playboy (pictured) but a prissy teacher who later rips off her black wig to shake free that mane of blonde goddess hair ...

CLASSIC SITCOMS GET NAUGHTY MAKEOVER

Believe it or not, the new growth industry these days in porn is spoofs of classic TV shows. They've been doing them for years (GILLIGANS BI-LAND and DAWSONS CRACK being two of my favourite titles) but lately (probably because most people now access their smut through the net) the big sellers have been parodies of THE BRADY BUNCH, THE COSBY SHOW and MARRIED WITH CHILDREN (although producers draw the line at incest between any family members and that includes all Brady step-siblings). Hilariously, porn legend Ron "The Hedgehog" Jeremy stars in all of them including what is a continuing role as Sam the Butcher in three BRADY sexy sequels. They've also done BEWTICHED so I expect I DREAM OF JEANNIE (pictured) to be an obvious one to do next. There has actually been a sex-change version called I DREAM OF QUEENIE where a certain minx played both Jeannie and her twin sister. I've just signed up for a new JEANNIE tribute website called

www.wedreamofjeannie.com

so I'll be eager to see if they make mention of this scandalous remake. In the meantime, enjoy the trailer for NOT BEWITCHED XXX ...

THE END IS NIGH FOR LOST

LOST doesn't return for its final season until next year but the hype surrounding its ending is already beginning. This pretend poster (done in the style of Alfred Hitchcock) is one of several that have been commissioned to promote the last series. There's also rumours that Dominic Monaghan (Charlie) and Ian Somerhalder (Booth) will be returning even though they died on the show. And despite it looking like Elizabeth Mitchell (Juliet) blew to bits when she set off thaa nuclear device recently, reports indicate that she too is coming back even though she's the star of the new remake of sci-fi alien lizard drama V. Can't wait.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN STRIP

Former NRL footballer Nick Youngquest is making quite the splash in the UK where he now plays for Gateshead Thunder. The hot husband of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCER Kassy has never been shy and will certainly become a pin-up with this latest issue of UK gay mag Attitude. Fans of the US version of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE are still furious that Ten has bounced the show to a late Friday timeslot. Tonight it doesn't start till 10.30pm so that Ten can replay the movie NANNY MCPHEE which raises the question - if they're going for a family audience with this kiddie film, why not wait just a few weeks and let the families keep watching DANCE together because they are the ones missing out - kids who were specially allowed to stay up late on a non-school night to watch DANCE with their parents (or godparents as a spot-on Heckler wrote to the Sydney Morning Herald this week complaining about the programming move which now means he has to tape the show and then "fast-forward all the soft porn commercials that plague late night television"). Elsewhere today I love BIGGEST LOSER Ajay Rochester and recent claims she was illegally dumping her junk in someone else's bin. Today she says her rubbish was neatly packed up into piles with "one to go to the Salvos and one to go to a woman's shelter". Isn't she a saint and who is this awful neighbour she reckons went through her rubbish and then dumped into that skip? How rude given Ajay is such a caring and sharing person but what has happened to Ajay going on OPRAH? World domination or something like that if I remember correctly. Anyway, do also read Rachel Ward's article about her "precious egg" also known as the movie BEAUTIFUL KATE. That's her film she previously compared to DR ZHIVAGO and today in the Sydney Morning Herald she also likens it to THE CHANT OF JIMMY BLACKSMITH, THE DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND, BREAKER MORANT and WALKABOUT. Apparently there is a "campaign of criticising those who dare to make fragile, singular films". Who are thoese charlatans daring to question her art? Perhaps it might make a good movie, no doubt another LAWRENCE OF ARABIA with Rachel directing herself in the Peter O'Toole role as she defends her precious egg against "last-minute spoilsports".

BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS

Every Thursday night on GO! fans of Alex O'Loughlin can re-watch him in his short-lived but incredibly popular 2007 drama MOONLIGHT (which aired just a bit too early to cash in ont he current vampire craze a la TWILIGHT and TRUE BLOOD). Back in 2002 however, Alex O'Lachlan (as he was then known by) was one of Sydney's Sexiest Barmen in a photo shoot for the now-defunct gay photography magazine "blue". According to the blurb, he was in his final year at NIDA and his favourite pick-up line was "Um, excuse me, sorry to bother you but I was just wondering if you would like to have sex with me sometime." Now this is not meant to insinuate in any way that he is gay because, sadly, I don't think he is but isn't it funny to see him before he practised that smouldering look he flashes for the cameras so often these days. O'Loughlin's latest TV series THREE RIVERS begins in a few weeks and is a medical organ transplant show that also stars sexy Shane from THE L WORD. UUnfortunately the pre-advance buzz is not good. Check it out for yourself and wonder if it'll be fast-trcked here on Ten or saved to burn off during summer ...

TED KENNEDY DIES AND THIS TRAVOLTA MOVIE SCREENS FRIDAY

This Friday at noon, Seven had alrady programmed the John Travolta movie BLOW OUT (and I was palnning to tell you all to set tape it because it's unreal). But now it looks like a spooky and scandalous tribute to the late Ted Kennedy. In 1969 he drove his car off a bridge and his female passenger drowned and in 1981 director Brian De Palma loosely based his new thriller around that incident (and took some other inspiraton from another movie BLOW-UP). This is a terrific movie from De Palma when he was at his peak (CARRIE, DRESSED TO KILL, SCARFACE) and is one of Quentin Tarantino's three favourite films ever ...

FOOTBALLERS WIVE$ REMATCH

The bad news is La Toya Jackson will NOT be appearing on the UK version of DANCING WITH THE STARS. The good news though is STRICTLY COME DANCING will feature Ronnie Wood's ex-wife Jo, former EASTENDERS Natalie Cassidy (Sonia) and Ricky Groves (Garry), QUEER AS FOLK'S Craig Kelly AND TWO EX-FOOTBALLERS WIVE$ STARS!!! Zoe Lucker (Tanya Turner) and Laila Rouass (Amber) were major rivals on the soap so it'll be great to see them competing for a ballroom crown rather than Conrad, a bisexual David Beckham-like soccer player. I know Princess Penny thinks the TV universe begins and ends in America, but this DANCING cast is way more exciting than stupid Sabrina the waste of space Witch and Donny don't care Osmond ...

THE NEWEST AMERICAN GLADIATORS

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and (believe it or not) I started thinking about how lame the cliffhanger for DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES was this year. It's all about who married Mike - Susan (Teri Hatcher) or Katherine (Dana Delaney) and frankly, who cares? Katherine is the most boring housewife on Wisteria Lane who spent a whole season trying to be a more perfect homemaker than Bree and then the next season fighting Susan for Mike. Yawn. I can't even tell Dana Delaney apart from Kim Delaney (who stars in ARMY WIVES, a soap Ten couldn't make work last summer so now it's on its way to W). And then this morning I wake up to this delicous promo for the upcoming season and there she is, Miss Boring, and no Nicolette Sheridan. Sigh. Oh well, at least this new shot looks hot and Lynette's pregnancy, Gabi's slutty niece and Bree's affair with Susan's ex-husband looks promising when the show returns to Seven in 2010 ...

BRETT EASTON ELLIS' THE INFORMERS OUT ON DVD - BUT ONLY IN THE U.S.

My favourite author is Bret Easton Ellis but there's only been one fantastic movie adaptation from one of his novels and that was THE RULES OF ATTRACTION. AMERICAN PSYCHO was good but not as horrific as the book and LESS THAN ZERO and needs to be remade (sorry to fans of that movie but read the book and you'll see it's a major cop-out). Two other novels, GLAMORAMA and LUNAR PARK, are in development for future motion pictures but until then, there's only THE INFORMERS, a collection of short stories set in LA in the 80s. It is a troubled film because the original director was replaced by Aussie Gregor Jordan (TWO HANDS) who then dropped the vampire subplot meaning SUPERMAN RETURNS' Brandon Routh was out of another job. But with a cast that includes Kim Basinger (pictured), Billy Bob Thornton, Mickey Rourke, Winona Ryder, Rhys Ifans, Chris Isaak, the late Brad Renfro and Simone Kessell (Jordan's real life wife who was the besst thing in UNDERBELLY 2), it must be seen. Immediately. And with no Australian distribution that I know of, I'll be buying it online, first thing tomorrow, when it is released on DVD in the USA. Here's the trailer ...

WHO'LL BE UNDRESSING FOR UNDERBELLY 3?

UNDERBELLY 3: THE GOLDEN MILE has just begun filming in Sydney so let's try and figure out which actors will be required to do gratuitous nudity a la Matthew Newton and Anna Hutchison. Actress and model Emma Booth (pictured) could be an obvious candidate since she's playing a prostitute but let's hope she doesn't have to do an oral sex scene atop a table stacked with oranges (which was the stupidest love scene from UNDERBELLY 2). Firass Darini (THE COMBINATON) also looks likely to drop his daks daily since he's playing the baddie and we all know UNDERBELLY bad boys do nothing but shoot, snort and strip. Sadly, since all the cops (even the dirty ones) keep their clothes on, Dieter Brummer (HOME & AWAY), Wil Traval (ALL SAINTS) and Diarmid Heidenreich (Dougie the pizza boy) should be able to keep their clothes on but Peter O'Brien (back as George Freeman) might have to skinny dip in his pool again and hang out at his strip club which reocrded a record 56 topless scenes in UNDERBELLY 2. Can the next instalment top that and/or maybe up the ante with some full frontal?

AND PEOPLE THOUGHT THEY WERE STRAIGHT?

I just found an unseen (well for me anyway) Village People video on YouTube from the mid-80s. This was after they went back to their original look after a disastrous flirtation with New Romantic costumes. This version appears to have momentarily lost their regular construction worker David Hodo although he reunited with the group and has toured Australia several times int he last few years (indeed they will be back at an RSL club near you before the year is out). Anyway, this clip is a scream, particularly their attempt to pretend they are heterosexual by including hot chicks into it. Puh-leeze. That leather man (God rest his soul) didn't care less about girls (even if they were dressed in dominatrix gear) and he seems far more interested in inserting that handpiece into another intimate region where I'm sure it fit with plenty of room to spare. Enjoy ...

AND MY FAVOURITE THING ON TV RIGHT NOW IS STILL ...

THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS which today just aired the reading of Katherine Chancellor's will. Everyone got a look-in, much to Jill's horror, including Esther (the maniacal maid), Amber (from THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL because she now lives in Genoa City) and Gloria (whose partner is Gary Ewing from KNOTS LANDING). Jill was furious until her long-lost son Phillip (Aussie Daniel Goddard, pictured) reminded her that she is now powerful in her own right and not living in mother Kay's shadow anymore. And nobody yet knows that she is still alive but suffering amnesia in a cabin in the woods (is there any other kind). Meanwhile, back at the Abbott mansion, the ghost of John visited all his children one by one (and even popped in on former wife Gloria) and judging from his over-tanned apperance, clearly heaven is located too close to the sun. Can't wait for tomorrow's action-packed instalment on W but here's a look at what happened today ...

RESCUE: SPECIAL OPS NEEDS SOME SPECIAL RESCUING

DANCING WITH THE STARS came up tops again (1.35 milllion viewers) on Sunday night while AUSTRALIAN IDOL lagged behind with 1.08 million. Interestingly though, Lincoln Lewis was eliminated from DWTS which suggests the kids are still watching IDOL because they didn't vote for the HOME & AWAY hottie (and IDOL did win the timeslot in youth demographics). DWTS is now poised for a real cliffhanger with remaining contestants country singer Adam Brand, TODAY TONIGHT'S Matt White, THE MORNING SHOW'S Kylie Gillies and vision-impaired Gerard Gosens. Last night the blind adventurer stepped up with some extraordinary dancing and he was also spared having to gaze at the hideous pink jacket worn by the fashion-inpaired judge Mark Wilson. And ironic that IDOL'S first winner Guy Sebastian was the big guest on DWTS and then a Seven promo immediately aired also using the same song. Ah, integration. Meanwhile over at IDOL, the new judge called Jay Dee was unveiled and .... it's early days I know ... but ... was it a little bit underwhelming? Won't it be interesting to listen to IDOL this week with two judges with Pommy accents and the ghetto-talking girl who hasn't lived there for 39 years. But the biggest upset last night was the dismal performance from RESCUE: SPECIAL OPS. Despite another great episode with Andrew Lees, Gary Sweet and Gigi Edgley (pictured, and isn't she a revelation in this show), RESCUE slumped to just 878,000 viewers as the return of MIDSOMER MURDERS on ABC1 was a blockbuster with 1.2 million viewers. And while we're talking about rescue, how about the GOBSMACKING request from commercial networks to screen an extra 30 minutes of advertising per day on their digital channels. They also want the government to rescue them by making parental lock-outs mandatory on all new digital TVs so that they can screen M rated shows in daytime just like subscription TV can. What a joke. Free to air TV has dragged its heels for years about providing their promised extra channels and now they're crying because Foxtel and Austar have one tiny advantage over them. Boo-hoo. Foxtel have provided a parental lock-out system for ages but manufacturers are now expected to be legislated into suddenly providing this system so that commercial networks can screen more American crap in daytime. Give me a break.

ALL ABOUT ABIGAIL

It's safe to say I have been obsessed with Abigail ever since she first appeared in NUMBER 96 back in 1972. I've just tracked down her 1980 Australian Playboy pictorial and will tease you with glimpses for the next few weeks. Can't somebody tell me where she is now? It's vital that she get dragged out of retirement for a comeback at some point. After playing the virginal Bev Houghton in NUMBER 96, Abi became Australia's first true blue sex symbol. And throughout the 70s all she had to do was turn up, wear not much and purr a bit. This got her an LP record, appearances in sexuy flicks like ALVIN PURPLE and ALVIN RIDES AGAIN and then there was this soft drink that she turned into something vaguely ponrographic. Did I drink it? Babe, I bathed in the stuff after this ....

CAN CHEEKY DWTS SNEAK UP FROM BEHIND ON IDOL AGAIN?

Last week DANCING WITH THE STARS had a resounding win over AUSTRALIAN IDOL but Ten aren't worried. They reckon that the second audition show always loses viewers from the first and from tonight it's all about finalising the Top 24 singers with a whole weeks worth of shows (Sunday at 6.30pm then Monday to Thursday at 7.30pm). Best of all, there's just one more appearance from Kyle Sandilands tonight before he disappears forever and is replaced by a new judge. Yay. But can Daniel MacPherson (pictured) and Sonia Kruger keep DANCING WITH THE STARS on top every Sunday as they approach their Grand Final in a few weeks? Watch this space ...

LA TOYA STILL MIGHT GO DANCING

It's just another rumour but now they're saying La Toya Jackson might do the UK verison of DANCING WITH THE STARS which means she'd be on the same show as Tanya Turner from FOOTBALLERS WIVE$. Oh. My. God.
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please this will come true ....

DOGS IN SPACE - FINALLY ON DVD

It is one of my most seminal movies ever and probably my favourite Australian film of all time (although PUBERTY BLUES comes a very close second). Now DOGS IN SPACE has finally been released on DVD through Umbrella Entertainment and what a glorious 2-disc edition it is. There are three complete audio commentaries and two are with director Richard Lowenstein as he chats first with musician Ollie Olsen (who appears in the film) and then director of photography Andrew De Groot. Lowenstein is also behind the 90 minute documentary about the making of the film and there's a wealth of extras about lead actor Michael Hutchence (it was his first film role and don't assume he's overacting because according to the commentary, he is spot on in his characterisation of the real life person who also appears in the film, spooky). For those who haven't seen the film, it's about a bunch of hippies and punks who share a ramshackle house in Richmond, Melbourne during 1979. Bowie is about to visit Australia, Skylab is about to fall from the sky and everything revolves around COUNTDOWN and drugs. At the time it was rated R which was a tragedy given it's (ultimately) an anti-drugs film. Then again the Australian censorship board has always come down too hard on any film that glorifies drug use even though all (SID AND NANCY, REQUIEM FOR A DREAM etc) usually end in death and tragedy. So the good news is that DOGS IN SPACE is now rated MA and about bloody time too. Check out the first 10 minutes here and then buy the DVD, it's very cool and you'll want to watch it more than once ...

FIRST AVATAR FOOTAGE UNVEILED

I've just returned from a 15 minute preview of James Cameron's new movie AVATAR which is to be released in 3D in Australia on December 17. Aussie Sam Worthington is crippled in a wheelchair on some foreign planet (?) until Sigourney Weaver transfers him into the body of a tall blue creature with a powerful tail. From that point on, it looks like gorgeous Sam remains hidden inside a computer animated character. He is rescued by a hot chick creature, fights some prehistoric dinosaurs and tames a pterodactyl. Then a quick montage of scenes show soldiers in high tech helicopters and some evil-looking robots. In other words, it's a little bit TERMINATOR, a little bit JURASSIC PARK, a little bit STAR WARS and a whole lot LIKE LORD OF THE RINGS. Yes, some of the scenes were thrilling but will those 3D glasses give you a headache after 2 hours and 40 minutes because that is going to be AVATAR's running time. Sigh. I was actually more impressed by the 3D in ICE AGE 3 ... but here's director James Cameron talking it up ...

HOOKER HELL

It is Carrie-Anne Moss's birthday today (she's 42) and it got me thinking about how she was left in "hooker hell" on MODELS INC. There have been many great unsolved cliffhangers because of soaps getting the axe. What happened to Agent Cooper after he got possessed by Bob in TWIN PEAKS? Did Sloane get killed by the firing squad in CAPITOL? And why did DYNASTY sort of acknowledge Fallon's alien abduction in THE COLBYS but never again refer to Jeff Colby's mother (played by Katharine Ross) who was left dying in the arms of Charlton Heston? Sometimes cancelled shows hurriedly shoot alternate endings for international distribution which is why RETURN TO EDEN quickly added on a new ending with Jilly (Peta Toppano) being carted off to jail for murder rather than Stephanie Harper (Rebecca Gilling) being left standing on her mansion stairs with a gun in her bloody hand. But when Aaron Spelling shot a new ending for MODELS INC, he forgot all about Carrie-Anne Moss's character. She went on to star in THE MATRIX but I still have nightmares about her being stuck "somewhere in Central America". Wonder if Elle McPherson and Mischa Barton's new "drama" will ever hit the heights that MODELS INC did ...

THOSE Y&R STARS NEVER AGE ...

If you have ever been a fan of THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS, be sure to catch the marathon (repeat) screening this Saturday on W. For the last two days, it's been the funeral of Katherine Chancellor (she's not really dead of course but whatever) and a string of famous faces from the past just returned. There was Elisabth Foster (Jill's mother from the 70's and the only one looking like an old lady), Dina Abbott (not looking like an old lady thanks to lots of surgery), Tracy Abbott (still fat), Nina Webster (still wisecracking) and Danny Romalatti (still ageless but is he still a pop star?). Sometimes I wonder why Y&R are always chasing new younger viewers with annoying teen characters when bringing back the legends of yesteryear could be a better way to lure the real faithful back. Also look out for Nikki saying she's going to be sick (until someone's arrival stops her vomit dead in its tracks) and KNOTS LANDING'S Gary Ewing (he plays somebody else now but whatever) scanning the crowd for rich broads and asking, "Who says there's no good theatre in this town?". He is spot on - this is grand theatre and the best thing Y&R has done in YEARS. They've sucked me RIGHT back in ....

DRACULA'S SOUL BROTHER

Today is the birthday of the late William Marshall who was the "King of Cartoons" on PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE and also starred in two blaxploitation films BLACULA and SCREAM BLACULA SCREAM. Both of these films have just been released on DVD in Australia and are sitting on my shelf waiting for a rainy night ... I think the sequel looks better ...

CALIFORNICATION 3 SNEAK PEEK

Ten are currently repeating the first series of CALIFORNICATION late on Tuesdays and Fridays although the latter has been moved to 2.30am Saturday morning after SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE got bumped to 10.45pm and GO GIRLS was pulled off air mid-story (thanks for nothing Ten, can we take back that "Network Of The Year" award we gave you just a few weeks ago?). With programming like that, who knows where this third series of David Duchovny's CALIFORNICATION might end up. Here's a preview of its third season which promises more of the same but, disappointingly, shows nothing with new guest star kathleen Turner ...

DANCING WITH THE STARS Amercian Style

Well what can this Pincess say, they have finally announced the new line up
for the fall season of DANCING WITH THE STARS, American style and I am more
than a little happy about some of them:

Here is the list and my thoughts on each one !

Melissa Joan Hart - Love SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH so can't wait to see her
dance. Mr Mercado thinks she is a shocker so lets see..

Donny Osmond - Love Marie so going to Love the Brother..

Macy Gray - How exciting. I loved her last single.

Aaron Carter - Not sure, might be good eye candy...

Kelly Osbourne - Would have been happier if it was her Mother..

Kathy Ireland - Some swimsuit supermodel who now sells shit with Dame
Elizabeth Taylor

Maya - Love her in Chicago the movie !!

Debi Mazar - Love her in Entourage

Mark Dascasos - Who ?

Ashley Hamilton - Who ?

Michael Irvin - Who ?

Tom DeLay - WTF Who ?

Natalie Coughlin - Who ?.

Joanna Krupa - Who ?.

Chuck Liddell - Who ?

Vito - Cute as !!

OK so I have to admit there's more "who" than "love" but having Donny
& Melissa Joan on the same show makes up for all the Z Grade
Celebrities - and Aussie Dancer Kym Wilson is with Donny !
Go Team Donny...

See Below for the Footage when Marie Osmond fainted after a dance... fabulous !

This will give Mercado & I hours of arguing and it is a shame he didn't get
La Toya Jackson, that truly would have been a treat !

Ps ... Love it, Love Donny, Love the Mercado..

Princess Penny

XX

THE RETURN OF TANYA TURNER

Princess Penny is very excited about the cast just announced for the US DANCING WITH THE STARS but I'll let her tell you that because she gets angry whenever I describe Melissa Joan Hart's tragic teenage witch as a disgraceful rip-off of BEWITCHED and TABITHA. Instead, I'm focusing on who might appear on the UK version STRICTLY COME DANCING. Apparently Zoe Lucker of FOOTBALLERS WIVE$ fame might do it and that would make me want to move to the UK to watch. Lucker played Tanya Turner who was last seen on the verge of snorting a line of rat poison (she alwasy was a coke fiend). I live in hope that one day a FOOTBALLERS WIVE$ telemovie might solve that and all the other cliffhangers it left us hanging with but until then, here's why we loved Tanya so much ...

MELROSE'S LATEST STRAIGHT-ACTING GAY DUUUUUUDE

Victor Webster is the latest casting for the new MELROSE PLACE and word is he is going to be play a sports-lovin', cigar-chompin' dude who just happens to love other dudes. In other words, he'll be one of those "straight-acting" gays and a slightly butcher version of the first MP poof Matt (Doug Savant). No doubt he will also be unlucky in love like Matt and share lots of bear hugs ("I love you man but let's not kiss or we might offend Middle America") with a bunch of boofy straight-acting upstanding citizens just like Matt did. Honestly, how does this building in West Hollywood, the heart of gay Hollywood, never get a visit from any wrist-flapping, bitchy queenie types? Maybe that role could be played by Pete Wentz because any show stupid enough to feture Ashlee Simpson should also cast her husband as well. As for Victor Webster, well at least he is eminently qualified for the role after appearances in DAYS OF OUR LIVES, CHARMED, HARPER'S ISLAND, a nude spread in Playgirl magazine and a nude boyfriend of Samantha's in SEX AND THE CITY ...

ANOTHER TARANTINO MARATHON

This is what I DREAD hearing as I walk into a movie - "You know it goes for longer than 2 hours". Hollywood movies keep getting longer and longer and if audiences don't start revolting soon, 2 hours and 30 minutes will become the norm. With exceptions, no movie should be longer than 2 hours. And one of those exceptions is anything from Quentin Tarantino. I've just seen INGLORIOUS BASTERDS and despite having to dehydrate myself beforehand so I didn't have to miss something by running out for a toilet break, I loved every minute of it. It's a very different film for Tarantino after the cartoonish capers of KILL BILL and DEATH PROOF but he pulls it off. This WWII flick about Nazi hunters (and scalpers) is gripping with a hilarious start turn fromm Brad Pitt but beware - the violence is truly gruesome ...

GLENVIEW HIGH ROCKS

Sorry but we're still having trouble uploading pictures to this site because of some stuffed-up upgrade Blogger did last week. So to tide you over, here's another forgotten 70's classic from my favourite YouTube channel. It's GLENVIEW HIGH which was a one-hour drama that came from Grundys after CLASS OF 74 and CLASS OF 75. The cast is to die for - Elaine Lee, Brandon Burke, Ken James, Bill Kerr, David Atkins and the fabulous Rebecca Gilling. It's also got the gorgeous Grigor Taylor from MATLOCK POLICE and what the hell happened to him? Last time I saw him on TV was some kids show called BUTTERFLY ISLAND and then he just slipped away. Could he be hiding away at the same banana plantation Abigail is said to reside at? Check him out in acton now and re-live the fantastic theme music, another great track from Mike Perjanik ...

LA TOYA SAID NO

La Toya Jackson says she's not doing DANCING WITH THE STARS because "I can’t see myself dancing every single day when I’m still trying to find out what exactly happened to my brother.” Sigh. She did , however, express interest in joining AMERICAN IDOL as a judge. Hey, that'd work - replace the crazy with some more crazy. Let's hope La Toya also fills her Coke cup with whatever it was that made Paula Abdul judge like this ...

ALL SAINTS LIVES ON

Today may have been the last day of shooting on ALL SAINTS but the hospital name will live on in TV. Edie Falco (Carmela from THE SOPRANOS) is the star of NURSE JACKIE and guess what the name of her NY hospital is? If you're a fan of the original VALLEY OF THE DOLLS movie, you are going to live this show because the first scene is set to the same Roberta Flack track from the cult 60's movie. Yes, Nurse jackie likes her dolls too, whatever she can get, crushed and then inhaled. This fantastic new series from US network Showcase is unlike any medical drama you've seen before and at just 30 minutes per episode, it's also one of the shortest. The only sad thing is poor NURSE JACKIE scorES the cursed post-ROVE timeslot on Sundays. Every show Ten tries there fails so let's hope there's some healing hands at work when it premieres on Setpember 13. Check out a sneak peek here ...

LA TOYA JACKSON FOR THE U.S. DANCING WITH THE STARS?

Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please may this be true. The new cast gets announced in the US on Monday and we NEED LaToya to be on this show. God knows she's got nothing else going on in her life unless you count this tragic tribute single which was released alarmingly quickly after her brother's death ...

AND TO THINK IT ALL STARTED WITH TAURUS RISING

In 1982 Aussie actor Damon Herriman was just 12 years old when he starred in Australia's answer to DALLAS and DYNASTY called TAURUS RISING. Unfortunately the first episode bombed in the ratings (ironically it was up against another Grundys show PRISONER) so it was pretty much doomed after that. Nine dumped it to Friday nights while rival networks cruelly re-named the show PISCES PLUMMETING. Today Herriman is carving out a fascinating career in the US with roles in TV series such as COLD CASE and the upcoming LAWMAN with Timothy Olyphant so watch now as he morphs from spoilt rich kid into psycho skinhead ...

JAMIE OLIVER GOES WEST

I am a late convert to TV chef Jamie Oliver because I didn't fancy the idea of a lisping cook spitting all over the food he made. But then last year I saw his special about chickens and free range eggs and I became an immediate fan. Last week Ten screened JAMIE SAVES OUR BACON but nobody watched. What a shame because this was the most inspirational and remarkable piece of televison I have seen all year. In between wanking a pig and impregnating a sow (I kid you not), there was also an in-depth look at the most humane ways to keep and kill pigs. And then after educating his audience about where their bacon comes from, Oliver cooked a shoulder joint because this is the most ignored piece of pig product and if more people ordered it from their butcher, there'd be less wastage. How brilliant. I hope Ten are going to repeat this special (and the one about the chickens) very soon, not to mention his upcoming series where he travels in America .. and by the way, he used a butt double for the nude scene ...

WTF?

There is a hilarious moment in Ten's upcoming US sitcom MODERN FAMILY where this supposedly cool (but really tragic) dad says he's so "down with the kids" he can speak their lingo. Then he reveals that he thinks WTF stands for Why The Face? Very funny and for those who don't send text messages oa lot it actually stands for What The F*ck. There are currently several WTF moments going on in pop culture starting with OLIVER star Mark Lester. This has-been (or never-was) recently denied he was the father of Michael Jackson's kids until last weekend when he piped up to say that he HAD given some sperm to his good friend Michael and now he thinks HE is the father of Paris. WTF? Who gives a friend a cup of cum and becomes godfather to the kids that magically appear yet NEVER questions their paternity? WTF? And was it just the one donation or did MJ ask, "Please sir, can I have some more." Then there's Victoria Beckham reportedly in line to take over from Paula Abdul as a judge on AMERICAN IDOL. WTF? Posh Spice CAN'T sing! If this is the criteria, let's just replace Kyle on AUSTRALIAN IDOL with a renowned singer of our own like Jobeth Taylor or Fairlie Arrow. And who caught last night's A CURRENT AFFAIR? From the promos it looked like the mother and daughter from the Kyle and Jackie O rape scandal were finally going to tell "their side of the story" but it turned out to be the young girl's aunties and cousin. WTF? They revealed that the underage girl is lying about the rape so now all those demented Kyle and Jackie O fans can pretend this makes everything alright. WTF? It doesn't change a thing and where are we at in society that this sort of gutter material, real or made up, is being broadcast for kids on breakfast radio? Kyle and Jackie O are apparently mad that they have been "gagged" by Austero and unable to tell "their side of the story". Hang on, didn't they have two full broadcast days to explain themselves before their "recess" which very conveniently spared them having to line up alongside their peers at the launch of digital radio last week. What a pack of cowards. And finally to a WTF campaign that is amusing us from the US. It's for the third season of GOSSIP GIRL which last year used the tagline "wildy inappropriate" after a family group condemend the show. Now it's all about WTF but cleverly they have come up with a brand new meaning. GOSSIP GIRL begins on GO! tomorrow (Thursday) but Fox 8 will bring us the new WTF season very soon ...

DOES DANCING WITH THE STARS NEED TO GO NUDER?

There's not many stunts left to pull on DANCING WITH THE STARS but they're going to have to think of something soon to stay ahead with Australian viewers. Last Sunday DANCING WITH THE STARS (1.30 million viewers) just beat IDOL (1.29 million) but both were edged out by DOMESTIC BLITZ (1.34 million) in the ratings. Now there's really not a lot in that and it's still early days because when those live IDOL shows with a new judge begin in a few weeks, things could get really interesting. Meanwhile on Monday, CITY HOMICIDE comfortably won its timeslot with two new episodes although the audience was down considerably compared to last year. I'm telling you, there are too many Aussie dramas about the same thing on TV (CITY HOMICIDE, RUSH, RESCUE: SPECIAL OPS, ALL SAINTS: MEDICAL RESCUE UNIT, SEA PATROL etc etc etc) and viewers are starting to tire of cops and rescuers doing the same thing every week. And two variety/reality shows screening at the same time on a Sunday night is splitting the audience and doing neither any favours. That's why Daniel MacPherson might have to step up and strip off to give both his shows the edge. He was a hoot on DWTS' wedding march but it's time the host shows Lincoln Lewis who looks best with his shirt off. And remember how great Detective Simon Joyner was in the first season of CITY HOMICIDE when he was banging the wife of his boss (spectacularly played by Alyce Platt)? D Mac, it's time to nude up for the sake of Aussie TV again. Seriously Daniel, if it was good enough for THE BILL and NEIGHBOURS, it's got to be good enough for Seven ...

MORE PEE-WEE TV?

PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE used to be the coolest kids show around until Paul Reubens got caught with his hands down his pants in an X-rated theatre in 1991 and CBS yanked the show. Now there's talk there might be a TV comeback with Pee-Wee Herman returning to the LA stage at the Music Box @ Fonda from November 19 - 29. All the Saturday morning regulars will be back inluding the glamorous Miss Yvonne, Mailman Mike, Jambi the Genie, Chairry and Pterry the pterodactyle. Cowboy Curtis will also be riding back but no word yet on whether CSI's Lawrence Fishburne will return to the role. The series and the all-star Christmas special are available on DVD through Umbrella.

READY ... SET ... GO! ...ING!

Nine's new youth channel GO! officially launched last night (Sunday) at 6.30pm with a new episode of WIPEOUT. The fact that it's the US version and not the Australian one basically sums up the whole channel which is wall-to-wall Americana mostly sourced from TV1 and Fox 8. For those without subsccription TV however, GO! is going to be great counter-programming to Nine's main channel and a real selling point for Freeview.

For now, this is a soft launch until a bigger launch in October for the premiere of THE VAMPIRE DIARIES. But locating a printed program guide now depends on which newspaper you have in your region. In Sydney, News Ltd's Sunday Telegraph has completely re-designed their TV Guide to include GO! and all the other new digital channels like ABC2 and ONE. Fairfax's Sun Herald, however, continues to ignore Nine's digital schedule by devoting a blank white space column to Seven's HD limp listings which today only show three programmes. Hmmm, someone isn't playing ball here but I'll leave it to Mediaweek and Crikey to figure out what's really going on. Instead, here is our daily breakdown of what to watch on GO!

SUNDAY: After WIPEOUT, the channel really does wipeout with four (count 'em, four) repeat episodes of THE BIG BANG THEORY from 7.30pm. Then it's the Australian premiere of the short-lived ALIENS IN AMERICA at 9.30pm about a Muslim foreign exchange student going to a Wisconsin high school. And at 10pm it's THE OLD ADVENTURES OF NEW CHRISTINE.
VERDICT: Can't see the kids giving up IDOL and ROVE for anything here yet.

MONDAY: Daytime copies Foxtel by repeating the previous night's programming alongide perennial favourites BEWITCHED, I DREAM OF JEANNIE and THE NANNY. Some TV classics are always worth watching but when did JUST SHOOT ME become a TV staple?
Every weeknight at 6pm there will be repeats of AUSTRALIA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS (you really can just shoot me now), then at 7pm ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT (great timeslot for the best showbiz show around), 7.30pm has the Australian premiere of gossip show TMZ (which should be familiar to regular viewers of THE SOUP who are always airing tacky clips) and 8pm is SEINFELD time.
Then the programming changes for each night of the week. Monday is male-skewing reality starting with DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER at 8.30pm (from Fox 8), NEIGHBOURS AT WAR at 9.30pm (an Australian premiere) and BAD LADS ARMY (from UKTV) at 10.30pm.
VERDICT: Smart alternatives to female fare on Nine like THE FARMER WANTS A WIFE and DROP DEAD DIVA.

TUESDAY: Hell hath no fury like a scornerd SURVIVOR fan so expect dancing in the streets tonight when SURVIVOR: GABON finally gets its Australian premiere at 8.30pm. Sadly it won't be seen in HD (GO! is SD only) but look closely in the first episode because US censors missed contestant Marcus (pictured) and his penis (not pictured) popping out of his pants during the final challenge involving yellow balls (not testicles). Will the peen make it down under? 9.30pm has THE BACHELOR: AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN and 10.30pm is THE BACHELORETTE. Nine promise these last two are also Australian premieres even though they also screen on Arena.
VERDICT: Tuesday is Nine's worst rating night of the week so three of the hottest US reality shows should provide welcome relief for those fed up with TWO AND A HALF MEN.

WEDNESDAY: It's sci-fi spooky mystery night with the stunning TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES at 8.30pm, FRINGE at 9.30pm (with Aussie actors Anna Torv and John Noble) and more paranormal nonsense with ELEVENTH HOUR at 10.30pm.
VERDICT: It's great to see TERMINATOR back on Nine after being onsold to Fox 8. And FRINGE, confirmed for a second season in the US, will return to the beginning before continuing into fresh episodes.

THURSDAY: Girlie giggles galore with GOSSIP GIRL at 8.30pm, Alex O'Loughlin's va-va-voom vampire drama MOONLIGHT at 9.30pm and the appallingly addictive THE HILLS at 10.30pm. GOSSIP GIRL and THE HILLS are Foxtel staples that fans will probably lap up for another viewing while the short-lived MOONLIGHT garnered quite the cult audience on Nine a few summers back (and if memory serves me correctly, there are still a few first-run episodes left).
VERDICT: Now the boofy boys can watch THE FOOTY SHOW on the big screen in the loungeroom while the girls retire to the spare set in the bedroom.

FRIDAY & SATURDAY: CSI, CSI, CSI because the target audience (14-39) is supposedly out on the town both of these nights. Really? Maybe the reason nobody watches TV on these nights is because they hire DVDs because THERE'S NOTHING ON! At least DANCE YOUR ASS OFF makes a comeback at 7.30pm on Saturday just after the first new Aussie production for GO! which is THE ARIA MUSIC SHOW at 5pm.
VERDICT: Boring, boring, boring. At least TV BURP'S Ed Kavalee will be thrilled about DANCE YOUR ASS OFF but we'll hold our verdict about the ARIA show until we see what the "music experts" are like between the clips. They couldn't be any worse than that Guppy goose on Ten's VIDEO HITS ... could they?

COMMERCIAL BREAKS: For now, lots of ads about herpes, thrush and that Telstra ad with the Samuel Johnson voiceover.

STILL TO COME: THE WIRE, CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM, NIP/TUCK and WEEDS (pictured).

WISHLIST: How about some programming that gives GO! a point of difference from Foxtel. Specifically, how about more Australian programming that isn't tragic FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS? Remember WEDDINGS, the 90's reality series that inspired KATH & KIM? What about the record-breaking first season of THE BLOCK before product placement ruined the show? And do the math about GO!'s target audience. Viewers approaching 39 were old enough to watch THE YOUNG DOCTORS when they got home from school and they also stayed up late at night to laugh along with CHANCES. Neither of those shows have ever been repeated on Nine so it would cost nothing to replay them now. God knows I'd rather watch CHANCES at 11.30pm than JUST BLOODY SHOOT ME. And talking about cheap repeats, what about SKIPPY for the kids? Nine has unlimited replay rights for this show but just don't tell Tony Bonner (who played the helicopter pilot) or he'll be whinging outside the gates of Willoughby wanting cash.

RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN

Well, this movie has all the right elements to be a DVD blockbuster !
It is a Disney remake starring Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock.

It is the story of two young aliens that crash accidentally on earth & their fight to get back to their Spaceship with the help of Las Vegas taxi driver played by The Rock!

I've been to Las Vegas many many times & at no time have I ever seen such a'hot' taxi driver as him !!!

The original movie ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN was made in 1975 and starred Eddie Albert, Ray Miland, Donald Pleasance & Kim Richards who makes a special appearance in this flick (because she's the only one still alive from the original!).

This new version of course is is far superior because of its special effects
especially the scene where the Black SUV hits the Alien Boy & Implodes, just
superb!

Dwayne Johnson can do it all. He is tough, sweet, strong & cute & you just have to love a man that can go from tough wrestler to amazing Disney Star, that is one hell of a transformation !

The rest of the cast is equally good with Anna Sophia Robb & Alex Ludwig playing the children and Carla Guigino as the Dr of Science (she played the Mom in the Spy Kids trilogy).

This Princess wanted the ending to have just one kiss of romance but then there could be a sequel... and it still ends very nicely... See preview below.

Great Fun Family Viewing & if you rent this DVD from Blockbuster you get a 'glow in the dark wristband" I know I am racing for one !!!!

Out August 26

4 stars ****

BEFORE NEIGHBOURS, MADGE WAS A REAL GOER!

Anne Charleston might have gotten worldwide fame playing Kylie Minogue's mother in NEIGHBOURS, but before Ramsay Street, she played a blonde maneater in TWO WAY MIRROR. This footage shows her vamping it up alongside Cornelia Frances, Joy Smithers and Jill Forster in an apparent cosmetic/photography empire that was supposed to air five nights a week directly opposite NUMBER 96. Suppsoedly the two way mirror would be the excuse for unbridled nudity but as far as concepts go, this is about as weak as it gets. A two way mirror is discovered and then ... ? Hard to believe anyone thought this would be more exciting than 96 at its peak but at least now we can enjoy hilarious moments like a sped up car sequence, a pony that neighs like a horse and a one-eyed matriarch played by the grand dame of Brisbane theatre, Babette Stephens. Nudity is provided by Julian Rocket who played one of Vera Collins' toy boys in NUMBER 96. Whoever put this up, I thank you, because now we know where Nine got its theme music for THE SULLIVANS from ...

MELROSE PLACE 2.0 IS CRAPTASTIC

What is there to say about the new MELROSE PLACE? That's it's so bad it's unmissable? Or it's so bad it's terrible? Never before have we heard dialogue as incomprehensible as this with half the cast babbling their lines so quickly, one can only assume they speak that way out of shame and just want it over as quickly as possible. The first ep has a Bollywood dance sequence, another gay, homeless people and a dead person in the pool (BIG mistake, haven't they realised that every soap that starts iwth a murder investigation fails, hello OUT OF THE BLUE, PACIFIC DRIVE etc). Best comeback is from Sydney (Laura Leighton) but the explanation for her resurrection from the dead is just one throw away line with Dr Michael Mancini (Thomas Calabro). Given he now has a long lost son (the hottest guy on the show), see how long it takes you to figure out which one must be Sydney's long lost daughter (it's sooooo obvious). Ten have the series but if they screen it, let's hope they have subtitles.

JAY HAS THE GIRLS GOING

Former NEIGHBOURS actor Jay Bunyan is known as Jay Ryan these days (pictured) and he's just quit SEA PATROL along with fellow cast members Jeremy Lindsay Taylor and Saskia Burmeister. Sheesh. That leaves the navy drama floundering in its fourth season with just boring Ian Stenlake and Lisa McCune on board so see if you can pick which UNDERBELLY actors Nine will quickly add to this show. Meanwhile Jay Ryan is making a much cooler show called GO GIRLS and the first season premieres on Ten tonight (Friday) at 10pm (and a second series is underway in NZ). It is from the makers of OUTRAGEOUS FORUNE so I automatically loved it but it is still funny, sassy and highly addictive. It's about three girls and their dopey mate (played by Ryan) and also stars Anna Hutchison. She's the poor girl who came to Australia to work in UNDERBELLY: A TALE OF TWO CITIES and was basically turned into a soft porn actress. Was there an unsexier moment on Aussie TV this year than Matthew Newton licking her out on the kitchen table while oranges cascaded around them? Yuk. It is great to see Anna Hutchison fully clothed in GO GIRLS and realise that she really can act and can be quite delightful. So set your IQ, PVR or VCR now if you're going out tonight because this is one of the best dramas for the second half of this year...

HBO IS FAR FROM HUNG

America's HBO network was off the boil for a while after the end of THE SOPRANOS and SEX AND THE CITY. But it is now firing again with hits like TRUE BLOOD (the second season begins on Showcase this September and a third series has been confimred), ENTOURAGE (renewed for a seventh season), CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM (soon to feature the entire cast of SEINFELD who will be reuniting for a season-long send-up) and BIG LOVE (a fourth season is being made while we wait for SBS to screen the third). HBO also advised they want a third series of FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS (whenever Jermaine and Bret get around to writing new scripts and music) and a third series of IN TREATMENT (because Gabriel Byrne is keen but there are no scripts because the Israeli show that inspired it only went to two seasons). LITTLE BRITAIN USA has been axed (Ten will soon screen it here) but an animated series from Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant will take its place based ont heir podcasts. And then there's HUNG starring Thomas Jane (pictured) about a high school coach with a massive penis. I've seen the first episode and it's surprisingly sweet as he deals with ex-wife Anne Heche, teenage kids and his new career as a male escort. No network yet for Australia (expect an announcement soon) but it's already been renewed for a second season with cries to show the appendage in question. HBO, however, says it doesn't want to spoil the mystique ...

ANOTHER SOAP DEATH EXPECTED

The real-life soap opera that is Kyle Sandilands hit a new high point last night when Nine News reported that he was fleeing his "rented mansion" in his "mortgaged Rolls Royce". Hilarious, but not as funny as TV Week's Tiffany Dunk who suggested AUSTRALIAN IDOL replace Kyle with Paula Abdul because she has just quit AMERICAN IDOL. Brilliant. Anyway, enough of him and more about reel soaps where times are tough in the US. Daytime is losing the longest running show in broadcast history next month when GUIDING LIGHT finishes after 72 years on air. It will be replaced by a new version of game show LET'S MAKE A DEAL and now AS THE WORLD TURNS is said to be the next go after 53 years. The good news is that CBS still have THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL and THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS and both of those shows are healthy (or more to the point, profitable) thanks to continued big overseas audiences. America's ABC network is showing renewed faith in ONE LIFE TO LIVE and ALL MY CHILDREN by announcing that both will soon start filming in High Definition. However, that involves AMC moving from New York to Los Angeles and nobody knows yet if the fabulous Susan Lucci (who plays Erica Kane) will make the move east. La Lucci is a beloved superstar in New York and might want to move from Pine Valley to ONE LIFE TO LIVE'S Llanview (and it wouldn't be the first time these two soaps have crossed over). Anyway, hope you guys are watching THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS right now on Foxtel's W because 80 year old Jeanne Cooper is once again playing the dual roles of Katherine Chancellor and her alcoholic lookalike Marge. Next Tuesday, the pair will be involved in a car accident and only one will survive (hence the ghost and coffin pictured). Who lives, who dies and who has a case of mistaken identity?
Anyway, as much as we love Jeanne, there is no greater moment in Daytime Emmy history than when Susan Lucci finally won ... after being nominated a record 19 times! Watch Rosie O'Donnell sob and PARADISE BEACH'S Ingo Rademacher show RESPECT - they LOVE her ....

IS THIS THE MOST VERSATILE WOMAN IN THE UK?

The best UK sitcom in years is finally in Australia and it's everywhere. The first series is out on DVD but is also being screened on UKTV and BBC HD (Mondays at 8.30pm) as well as Seven (Tuesdays at 11pm). I just did a marathon screening of the entire first series and am only JUST realising now that one of the actor/writers from GAVIN & STACEY has appeared in two other shows. Ruth Jones played Myfanwy, the Welsh bartender in LITTLE BRITAIN who deals with Daffyd who thinks he is the only gay in the village only to later reveal she is a lesbian. Under a ton of make-up, Jones also played Linda, the morbidly (in more ways than one) obsese assistant of the psycopathic Jill (Julia Davis, anothr brilliant actor/writer who also pops up in GAVIN & STACEY). NIGHTY NIGHT is quite possibly my favourite UK sitcom of all time because it is the most twisted. Given all the connections, it should really be no surprise then to learn that Jones, who plays Nessa in GAVIN & STACEY, co-wrote this show together with co-star James Hordern who plays Smithy. UKTV plan to go straight into the second series and then have a Christmas special to air this December. A third series is currently in production in the UK and did I mention GAVIN & STACEY also stars Alison Steadman, Rob Brydon and Archie from EASTENDERS? For more, watch THE PLAYLIST review of GAVIN & STACEY ...

PETE BURNS IS THE WEAKEST LINK

If it's your birthday today, you share it with a galaxy of stars. There's THE BRADY BUNCH'S Maureen "Marcia Marcia Marcia" McCormick (pictured) who is now 53 and Aussie actor John Jarratt (THE ODD ANGRY SHOT) is 58. There's US soap legend Erika Slezak (turning 63 but still looking about 33, funny about that) who has one of the most hysterical roles ever on daytime TV. Forget THE UNITED STATES OF TARA (Ep 2 screens tonight on ABC1) because ONE LIFE TO LIVE's Viki has six alternate personalities including stripper Nikki and her own father Victor. And over in the UK, there's two two gay celebs, CORONATION STREET'S Antony Cotton (34) and the brilliantly deranged Pete Burns from Dead Or Alive. Check him out in full flight on THE WEAKEST LINK giving as good as he gets ...

CAN JAMIE LEE CURTIS STILL DANCE?

As usual, Hollywood has a multitude of sequels planned but none is more exciting than James Cameron helming TRUE LIES 2 with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis and Tom Arnold. Although since this information is coming direct from Tom, take it all with a grain of salt (or angel dust). Tom reckons Arny will do the movie the moment he finishes being the Governor of California and Jamie Lee's character will now be a spy (just let her do another hilarious strip routine like she did in the first, pictured). Other planned sequels include STAR TREK 2, MONSTERS INC 2, TRON 2, CLIFFHANGER 2 (huh?), TRANSFORMERS 3 (just shoot me now), PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN 4, ALIEN the prequel, another 300 (400?), another BATMAN (only if Christian Bale stops with the voice), another ST. TRINIANS, another CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK (what a waste of money), another (darker) TEENAGE NINJA MUTANT TURTLES (like darker will help) and SAW VII in 3D (there's going to be a SEVENTH film?).

TV IS A SERIOUS BUSINESS

Is it too early to award Ten a "Network of the Year" prize? It might only be August but so far in 2009 they have given us MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA, TALKIN' 'BOUT YOUR GENERATION, LIFE ON MARS (it was short-lived but I loved Harvey Keitel) and sacked two of the most repugnant people on TV, namely Ajay Rochester and Kyle Sandilands. Seriously, well done! I might be back loving DANCING WITH THE STARS on Seven but now that IDOL has dumped Kyle, it's going to make switching that channel a whole lot easier every Sunday. What about how Ten caught its competitors on the hop by announcing their Kyle decision on their own NEWS AT FIVE. TODAY TONIGHT and A CURRENT AFFAIR both led last night's shows by simultaneously airing stories about the Bondi garbage freak. Watch out lady, at this rate Kyle might be looking for work as your garbo if he isn't already eyeing off another bin for future accommodation. In other TV news, Nine's RESCUE: SPECIAL OPS wasn't so special on Sunday night when it was beaten by BONES and a repeat of THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA. Ouch. The show is great but will it do any better this weekend up against the return of IDOL and another feelgood flick like LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE? Nine will no doubt saturate the airwaves with promos for the second epsiode of RESCUE: SPECIAL OPS guest starring Damian Walshe-Howling (pictured).

PROJECT RUNWAY AUSTRALIA SEASON 2 ... So Far

Well PROJECT RUNWAY is nearly 5 episodes into Season 2 and to be honest it
would have been nice to shake up the judging panel. Fashion Buyer Sarah Gale should go back to buying fashion and perhaps could be replaced by the
fabulous Melissa Hoyer!!


I LOVED Season 1 and so far Season 2 is keeping me happy. The designs have
been fabulous and the designers themselves are diverse and bizarre. Some of them you love & some of them you love to hate.
My faves are William the Sydney Designer, Opie & the cutie Lauren.

Ryan I adore you, you're a hottie, but that Kellie Anne is a bit of an
annoying mole. The one I love to hate more though is Anthony, the
androgynous Asian. Darling, please do something about your style because
your look is so 80's and Boy George, Marylin & Dead or Alive's Peter Burns
all looked like you and look what happened to them! If you feel the need for
all that make up, have a bloody sex change and be done with it. Boring and
Passe with a capital B and S (Mark in Season one was so so so much more
fabulous & tasteful).

Now to the real stars - Henry I love you, you're sweet, kind, cute and I
just want to hug you!
Kirsty, you're hot, fabulous & much better this season as a host, not to
mention now being married to a rich dude ... but... WTF is going on with
your hair this season? It's (spoken in a Kirsty Voice) ...
Too Blonde
Too Tired
Hate the Bangs
So Damaged
So Wrong
You're Out !!!!!!!!

Darling, perhaps Sydney's hot hairdressers to the stars Atlantis in Paddington can fix your mess? That's where this Princess goes when she is in town and we need you to have better hair quickly.

I am dying to see who's eliminated next and I hope to fly in for the Grand
Finale. See you there Henry, I want to have champers with you pet !!

4 Stars ( for Henry)

See the cutest Video of the divine Mark who is Season 2 behind the scenes host.. We Love him !

Princess Penny is Excited about this fabulous, fun new teen show from ABC Family in America starring the eternally youthful David Cassidy, picture in his prime.

But I have to admit before I go any further that this review will be biased because as a child I was a HUGE Partridge Family fan, I have been to David's concerts, thrown my undies at him & even bought his recent CD of dance Remixes as seen on Oprah !

So to have him in this show is making Princess Penny stretch her pulled backover botxed lips into a huge smile and I am also happy that ex Hardy Boys/DaDoo Da Ron Ron hottie Shaun Cassidy (brother of David) is producing the series.

How can this sitcom go wrong? Well it can't, it's cute, fun,touching, fresh and sweet. I LOVE IT!!!

Also starring is David & Shaun's other real life brother Patrick Cassidy,along with ex Spy Kids (and now all grown up) Alex Vega as Ruby (and she has a nice singing voice, who knew?).

Also watch out for Ruby's cousin Jordan played by cutie patootie Austin Butler. The premise of the show sees David an 80's pop singer still working today onthe casino circuit. His old band was called 'The Rockits'and now along comes his long lost daughter Ruby.

Is it a coincidence that David had a long lost daughter Katie come into his real life too? Katie now an actress recently seen on the wonderful show Harpers Island.

The weird thing is that whilst David has aged well (thanks to surgery, his head is big and his body is thin. It doesn't help that Patrick is taller and better built so in this show David ends up looking like one of those "bobblehead dolls"!

Nevertheless, Princess Penny urges you to watch this cute little feelgood show because it could just be the next 'Hannah Montana". Wonder which Aussie channel will pick it up? Check out the video below !

5 stars

TWO TV SHOWS GET BETTER

What a breath of fresh air Jane Hall was last night on THE 7PM PROJECT. Unfortunately for Ten though, Jane's show NEIGHBOURS outrated the comedy panel show that followed it. Not good. There were several standout moments in Friday's 7PM PROJECT including Adelaide funny guys Julian Schiller and Ryan Fitzgerald, and James Mathison pretending he had switched dogs for an owner/pet reunion after nine years. It's getting there people, but I wish I'd also seen Ruby Rose on Tuesday. According to David Dale in today's SMH, she made a comment about presnting at the Helpmann Awards - "I didn't know what it is but Cate Blanchett was there so it must have been pretty important." Dales thinks it's a "risky self-marketing strategy" to present oneself as "an egocentric scatterbrain". I think he's being kind. Rose is reportedly taking over from Hugh Jackman as the new face of Foxtel so let's hope she can be more gracious in future about one of their annual big event telecasts. I watched the theatre awards show last night (with a lot of fast forwarding which is really the only way to watch an awards show) when I discovered it sitting in my IQ box under ON DEMAND but be quick, there's only 4 days left to see it. I wish I could also tell you to IQ the repeat of TV BURP on Seven today but it starts in 2 minutes. Their first show was good but the second edition last Thursday was verging on brilliant. Its inspired craziness had THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL'S Ridge cancelling DANCE YOUR ASS OFF, NEIGHBOURS' Bridget arriving in heaven only to be offered sunglasses because the white light was so bright and Ed Kavalee chasing a balaclava down the street. OK, you had to be there for that bit. This is my new favourite TV show and if you love television like me, you must watch. Tell your friends and go set your IQ for next Thursday now.

THE ORIGINAL RESCUE TV SERIES

To celebrate the premiere of Nine's new RESCUE: SPECIAL OPS, let's look back at the first Aussie action TV series, CHOPPER SQUAD. This 70's TV series (with the great theme music from Mike Perjanik) didn't always pull off its stunt sequences but with a spunky cast like Eric Oldfield (pictured), we didn't really care. Oldfield appeared in THE GODFATHERS and THE YOUNG DOCTORS as well as having not one but two Cleo Centrefolds. Actually they called them the Mate of the Month to have a point of difference from Cosmopolitan. Anyway, thanks to a mad Brazilian fan, we can re-watch CHOPPER SQUAD'S international opening credits and marvel at the roll call of great Aussie actors that appeared in the show because our YouTuber thoughtfully lists them all below. Note to Freemantle, bring this out on DVD!

IF YOU'RE AN ACTOR WITH A HYPHENATED SURNAME, WELCOME TO RESCUE SPECIAL OPS

I don't know who decided we needed two Aussie TV dramas about rescue squads on TV but from this Sunday, we'll have them. And the good news is that Nine's RESCUE SPECIAL OPS is much more likable than Ten's RUSH. The Sydney series is shot with bright saturated colours while the Melbourne drama is draped in muted gray tones. And while both pull off their action sequences, RESCUE is the more likable show because of its appealing cast. There's no annoying Samuel Johnson computer geek nor any Catherine McClements angry types swinging thier balls through every scene while abusing every male in sight. Instead we've got the beautiful Libby Tanner, Gigi Edgley, Les Hills, Peter Phelps and guest actors that includes Gary Sweet, Gyton Grantley, Will Traval and every actor in Australia with a hyphenated surname: Damien Walshe-Howling, Martin Dingle-Wall, Jeremy Lindsay Taylor and Simone Jade Mckinnon. All the actors were at the launch party last Thursday night in Sydney but it was Simone who dressed up the most. Maybe she thought she was going to a Logies telecast or maybe she was just celebrating the end of RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE which airs its last ep (for now) just before RESCUE SPECIAL OPS. Aussie TV drama fans, it's good, so check it out .....

THE COOLANGATTA GOLD DAD IS BACK

Aussie actor Nick Tate has starred in some classic TV shows and films over the years including SPACE 1999, SONS AND DAUGHTERS, HOLIDAY ISLAND, SUMMERFIELD, THE DEVILS PLAYGROUND, SCALES OF JUSTICE, A CRY IN THE DARK and his brilliant turn as Colin Friels and Joss McWilliam's dastardly dad in THE COLLANGATTA GOLD (pictured). But now, after years of being THE voiceover guy for Hollywood movie trailers, Tate is back on TV again in the much-improved Aussie drama EAST OF EVERYTHING. And what a joy it is to see him again. EAST OF EVERYTHING's second seasonpremiere delivered underwhelming ratings last Saturday on ABC1 which proved there were more than a few burnt viewers who had been dissapointed by the first series and thought they were in for more of the same. And indeed the return episode last week wasn't fantastic as those earnest environmentalists threw themselves a writer's festival in this very Byron Bay-like town. But then, right at the end of the episode, Nick Tate arrived as the long-lost father of Richard Roxburgh and Tom Long. Tonight he is ensconsed in the Far Out East hostel and this TV show is completely energised because of him. He plays a freewheeling and occasionally nude hippie who is out to scam everyone arounhd him under the guise of the universe providing for him. Hilarious. And Tate is not alone in revitalising EAST OF EVERYTHING because Tracy Mann is also now int he cast along with the fabulous Susie Porter, Gia Carides, Tom Budge, Kathryn Beck and Mouche Phillips. this show has now left behind its depressing dreariness and leapt into far more fun territory. Please watch tonight at 7.30pm on ABC1 because this show and cast could be about to reach their full potential.

THIS COULD MAKE UP FOR DARYL SOMERS RETURNING TO TV

Today's Sydney Morning Herald reports that Ten is considering dropping Kyle Sandilands from IDOL amidst fears his 14-year-old rape radio scandal might damage the family singing show brand. Kyle and his calculating complicit cold-hearted sidekick Jackie O head into this weekend still convinced that they have done nothing wrong and disturbingly, many of their listners agree, preferring instead to blame the poor girl's mother. There's no doubting she is a disgrace but 2Day FM fans have been manipulated into appalling behaving for quite some time now. At the end of the day, or rather at the beginning of the day in that completely inappropriate children's timeslot, Kyle and Jackie O must accept the majority of the blame for years of smut and the endless bullying and humiliation of their braindead fans who are clearly very easy targets. This week's controversy was at its most tragic when Kyle immediately claimed the glare of the spotlight back onto himself. Like the classic narcissistic bully hiding behind a gold plated microphone that he is, Kyle blamed the "evil" media for the fuss because they were out to get him. Hmmm, an underage girl strapped to a lie detector machine to be grilled about her supposed drug use and sex life while kids are being driven to school but wait, it's all about Kyle. Again. Ten have supported this egomaniac for far too long and could finally be tiring of his antics, particularly since Kyle seems to be involved in some contrived controversy every year just as IDOL is about to hit the airwaves. Whilst I don't think even Kyle and Jackie O would resort to rapping about rape for ratings, this week's disaster is what happens when bottom-feeders scrape the bottom of their gold plated buckets. Ten, do us all a favour and get rid of Kyle and while you're at it, ban kiss of death Jackie from ever appearing on TV ever again too. Given Ten have also rid themselves of Ajay Rochester a few months back, 2009 could turn out to be a golden year of television which almost makes up for the return of Daryl Somers. Almost.